Lynyrd Skynyrd and Funerals

I officiated at a funeral yesterday. The guy was unchurched and had made a commitment to Jesus at some point but lived a life relatively devoid of Christianity’s practical aspects. The wife had been involved in various churches, but the husband had not. So, they really didn’t have a “home church” where they could request a “Christian burial.”  Out of the blue, they asked me. And Methodists will take anybody, right? 

 The funeral crowd was a wild one – a lot of what people in the South would call “unchurched.” There were several firsts at this funeral for me, but probably the biggest one was the music the family had chosen for the postlude. They played “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Excellent song…though a little out of place at a funeral home chapel. After I said yes to officiating, I got to thinking about something: who actually deserves a “Christian” or a “church” funeral?

I know of plenty of folks considered occaisional attendees or inactive by a church who have been turned down by ministers. Senior ministers often have the luxury of choosing which funerals or marriages they can officiate. But what about everyone else who wants to get married or properly bury a loved one? Though the church doesn’t think about this too often, I wonder what type of message we send to those we refuse. Are we telling them that they’re not good enough? Or maybe we feel that if we perform a funeral for someone who isn’t a shining example of Christianity, that we are condoning their behavior.

Beth and I watched that musical “Rent” several months ago when it came on TV. The whole story revolves around behavior the church would never condone and even the “TV version” was a little much for me. One scene was particularly interesting, though. After one of the main characters (a drag queen I believe) dies, they have his funeral inside a church. In a church. Beth actually paused the movie and asked me what I thought about that. I honestly wasn’t sure what I thought about it. The questions that finally came to my mind were, “Is the church doing more by refusing a gay funeral than it is by hosting one?…and if the church does host one, is that seen as condoning homosexual behavior?”

I thought about those same questions during “Free Bird” yesterday. Was I codoning the behavior of this family by officiating their funeral? I don’t think so. If anything, there were a whole lot of people who heard about a side of God (a loving, gracious Father) that they rarely see from those who go door to door in their neighborhood. To me, that was worth the “risk” of others thinking I agree with immoral or unscriptural behavior. Same with the funeral in “Rent” – does the chance to minister to the gay community increase once they are inside the church or are we appropriately “admonishing” them by rejecting their overtures for a church funeral? That assumes they are interested in a Christian funeral at all. I have to say I would be compelled to invite them in…just for the chance to minister to them. Last time I checked, a church building is just that: a building. So, the funeral on screen and the one from yesterday were similar. That may get me in trouble with some of my blog readers. You can disagree and there’s a comment section below where you can tell me all about it. But I suspect any chance to minister to someone is better than no chance at all.