More Paradigm Shifts

I went to church this past Sunday at a church where nobody knew me. Just as a visitor…no responsibilities or others looking to me for an answer.

It was really nice.

You notice different things when you’re just one of the people in the congregation. I suppose I was like most folks in the fact that I wanted only a few things out of the service. I wanted to laugh one good time, find something in the sermon that meant something to me personally, and I wanted my children to have a good time. That was it. Yep, I was that guy – the guy ministers complain about all the time: the consumer. But I noticed something by the end of the service. The pastor was trying so hard. I felt bad for him. I’ve tried that hard before. It sucks.

I see arena-style church services everywhere I go. But never before have I been so disillusioned with them. These are the ones where the guy or girl gets up in front of everyone. They all face the same direction and watch Pro Presenter backgrounds. Everyone is trying so hard to engage a lethargic group of people.  I’m personally in a the midst of a radically changing paradigm.  Much of the professional church world is consumed with its own progress. And that progress is most often tied to “nickels and noses.” Money and attendance. In fact, the success touted by many churches over Easter weekend had to do with attendance rather than heart change.

As a minister, I think I’m pretty much done with that game. I have two new goals now. One has to with my job as a minister and on has to do with those to whom I am serving. My new job description is this: to partner with what God is already doing rather than “starting” something that others will find appealing. Honestly I’m just too tired to do that any longer. And for people, my goal is to help them realize what God thinks of them and assist them in doing the ”greater works” that Jesus talked about. It’s not to get them to sit down and listen to me. It’s to help them listen to God. I can’t help anyone anyway.

I’m not sure where that is going to lead me. But I plan to enjoy the journey.

What Christians Can Learn from PostSecret

I have a few rituals in my life that I do religiously. Read the PostSecret website is one of them. Every Sunday morning…without fail. PostSecret is a project that was started several years ago by a guy named Frank. Here’s the gist: people anonymously mail in their most secret confessions on a post card and Frank posts them to his website. You may think you have a good grasp on people’s inner thoughts and motivations. But until you’ve read PostSecret, you really don’t have a clue.

The confessions on those postcards are raw, unfiltered, and outrageous. But more importantly they are an actual representation of what goes on in the human mind. I know many Christians that see the “depraved”  types of confession that litter that site as examples of lost souls pinning away for something more. I don’t. I think they are beautifully authentic. In fact, Christians could learn something about their own faith from them.

Occasionally, the confessions listed are actions of the past. But most of the PostSecret confessions are confessions of the heart. Here are a few examples:

I’m terrified of being a parent. I don’t think I could handle it if my kids make the mistakes my friends and I have made. 

Every time I see your Christmas lights, it makes me want to punch you in the face. 

I travel so much because  know I won’t kill myself if I’ve already paid for the trip.

Being a slut makes me feel strong.

They are all secrets of inner fears, motivations, and desires. Christians should take notes.

In the church world, confession occurs when someone is willing to admit a past mistake or failure….and that usually only happens when someone gets caught. But PostSecret actually represents a more biblical form of confession reflected in James 5:16 says “confess your faults to each other and pray for each other so that you can be healed.” Confession is not about getting caught. It’s not even about accountability. It’s about honesty and vulnerability. Personality flaws, skewed motives, and prejudices…right out there in the open – before God and everybody else.

Anyone can say, “In the past, I committed adultery. I committed fraud. I committed acts of violence.” But the Christians who actually have traction with those around them are the ones that confess what is truly in their heart in the middle of their struggle:

I am a Christian.

I am also a notorious liar.

I go to church only for the business contacts I can make there.

I gain great satisfaction from watching coworkers fail.

I hate my spouse but I’m scared to divorce him/her because my Bible study group will shun me.

I want other people’s money.

I love porn. I will always love porn.

I’m afraid of God though the pastor tells me I shouldn’t be.

My children annoy me constantly. I look for ways to avoid them.

This is real life. This is Christianity: not “confessions” of triumph but accurate confessions of broken people who are on a journey towards wholeness. May God give us the courage to share our own “PostSecrets.”

Two Kinds of People

“There are two types of people in this world: those who divide the world into two types of people and those who don’t.”

Corny. But funny.

Been thinking about people a lot lately. Some days I feel like I have a good grasp on the basic motivations of those I meet. Other days I walk away from someone thinking, “Did that really happen? Holy cow.” Sometimes the only way you know someone’s motives is to directly benefit or be ruined by them. Then you know.

I do believe there are two very common types of people in this world. The first type is the person you meet and immediately dislike, dismiss, or disregard. And then, over time, you figure out you completely misread them, their intentions, and their competency. Oops. Eventually, those people become the most trustworthy, loyal, and wise people you know.

The other type is the person you immediately like, respect, and value. And then, over time, you figure out that you have completely misread them, their intentions, and their competency. Oops. Eventually, those people cause you much grief, misunderstanding, and represent much of what you believe is wrong with the human race.

Here’s the problem. There are only two constants in both of these scenarios: you and a good long stretch of time. This may be up for debate, but I believe we should always give people the benefit of the doubt. I could also tell you to follow you intuition. But from what I can tell, the only way to distinguish the first type of person from the second is to interact with them for a significant period of time.

 

Luckily, Jesus gives us some insight into this in the parable of the wheat and weeds. Now, most scholars will point you to an schmaltzy end-times/judgment scenario with this. And that is accurate. But I also think there’s more to the story. Simply put, there are “weeds” that grow alongside “wheat.” And it’s no accident that the farmer tells that rookie laborer to sit back and let them grow. Here’s why – the “weed” Jesus is speaking about is called Darnel. It will make you seriously sick if harvested and processed into flour. Oh yeah – and it looks just like wheat. But the only way to tell it apart from the real thing is to wait until they are fully formed. Then the head of the wheat stalk tips over at harvest time. Then separating the two types becomes simple.

Same with those we meet. Reserve judgment. Most of us have been both “types” of people. I have. Treat everyone the same regardless of how you much you believe they belong in category 1 or category 2. Otherwise, you might harvest the wrong crop.

Pay Me What You Owe Me: The End of a “Profession”

I had a watershed moment this past week.

I attended a conference with a number of church planters from around the world. I’m not talking about our average “safe” conference where everybody flashes a lanyard to get in and sits around citing demographical research and discusses the latest Zondervan book. I have been to those and find them helpful. But this was different. These people were planting churches where no statistical data is available, if you get my drift. These people were hardcore. They were extremely kind and accommodating to me. But it became pretty clear that I was sitting with a class of minister far above my own.

One story struck me in particular. A guy had been making advances into a country for several years. Now, when I say that, I’m not saying that he’s got a 500 member congregation and health benefits. We’re talking about four converts in three years. That kind of thing. Hardcore. He was giving praise that someone in that group had invited him to visit again and was going to pay for his travel costs.

Here’s where it gets radical. I said, “Isn’t that a standard arrangement? How else would you get there?”  He said, “No. Normally I have to pay them to have the opportunity to witness to them. That’s why it’s a miracle.” Read that again. He has to pay them.

We send speakers and ministers around the world at our own expense. After all, motivational  speakers and ministers are worth the money right?  In the U.S? Yes. Elsewhere? Nope. In the U.S., the people who are paying are already Christians and deeply entrenched in that consumer paradigm. Outside of that paradigm, no one else gives a rip. A flying rip.

Don’t call me a doomsday prophet just yet, but I believe this is on the horizon in all Westernized nations as well. Many would say it’s already here. Presently, I would venture to say that roughly anywhere between 10-20% of any U.S. city has contact with Christianity and that number is decreasing every day. As it decreases, any prestige associated with the “profession” of ministry will eventually collapse. It’s status as a reputable and viable occupation will cease and (as in other nations) it may bring scorn upon those who embrace it.

Then something else will happen. People will have a choice: they will either wait for someone to fund them or they will spend their own money to share Christianity with others. Right now, ministers and church planters still think someone else needs to pay for their services. But ministers of the future will no longer ask for funding for themselves and their families. They will ask for funding so they can “pay” someone else to listen to the Gospel.

Do you think that’s a radical idea? Let me know what you think.

Six Months of Soul, Part 3

Here’s the final thing I’ve been thinking about over the past six months: being invincible vs. being wounded. This one requires a bit of explaining.

When Beth and I decided to take the risk of planting a church from the ground up, I did some serious research. Besides investigating church planting associations, I plowed through 12 books and manuals on the “methods” of church planting that exist today. I have been a part of two other start-ups (one independent and one SBC), but I still felt I needed some more background info on the whole process.

In one of these books, the author wrote a chapter on why someone shouldn’t start a church. He spent the entire chapter talking about the dangers of starting a church when you have deep wounds from churches – whether it be betrayal or conflict or misunderstanding. Then the author said that the church planter must have a sense of “invincibility” in order to succeed. People find hope in a leader that shows no signs of weakness or past failure. This upset me. In order to appear invincible, I’d have to pretend. I have been a failure. I have been misunderstood. I am awkward. I am full of weaknesses. If anything, much of what I know about the church I hope to build is what I don’t want it to be like. I began to doubt my ability to start something new.

After those books, I started a round of books that deal with grace in some fashion. I picked up Henri Nouwen’s Wounded Healer. I thought Nouwen would be talking about God as the wounded healer. But by page two, I had figured out he wasn’t. He was talking about the pastor as a “wounded healer.” Nouwen says that ministers are only effective when they have been significantly wounded. Otherwise, their words of sympathy and prayers for wisdom sound like trite TV ads rather than deep, meaningful connection. He says the best ministers are those who minister out of their past and present wounds.

Jesus did that. John 16:32-33 says that he was abandoned by those who would follow people who seemed more “promising.”

But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

I suppose I could project an image that I have things together. And that would attract some people to a new church. I’m planting in a city that certainly values appearances. That’s what the church planting manuals have told me. But after thinking about it for that past six months, I’m gonna go a different route. I’m gonna take Nouwen’s advice. I believe people are looking for something real. “Real” is not clothes or hairstyles or profanity or Wilco. It’s being comfortable enough with who you are so that it puts those around you at ease.

I’m gonna try that first.

Six Months of Soul, Part 2

Here’s something else I have been pondering for the last six months or so: the difference between certainty and confidence. Many times our world doesn’t make a distinction between the two – if we are confident then we must be certain of our goals and direction in life. Or if we project a sense certainty to others, that must be a sign of inner confidence. But the Bible approaches this issue in a very different way.

Though our world seeks certainty in news reports, market trends, and sports statistics, the Bible says there’s little value in our ability to judge the certainty of anything in this life. Success or failure. Winners or losers. Everybody already knows this…but it doesn’t stop us from acting as if there’s a “connect-the-dots” lifestyle that promotes success and happiness. In fact, much of our pomp, hand-waving, and posturing is simply to give credibility to something everyone already knows we don’t possess: certainty. This is the point of James 4:12-14:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Now, confidence is something totally different. While certainty has to do with circumstances, confidence has to do with identity.  I love Paul’s approach to ministry and relationships in 2 Corinthians 1:12-14:

We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own human wisdom. That is how we have conducted ourselves before the world, and especially toward you. Our letters have been straightforward, and there is nothing written between the lines and nothing you can’t understand. I hope someday you will fully understand us, even if you don’t understand us now.

Those Christians who are confident in who Christ has made them to be are comfortable in their own skin. Notice some of the emphasized words in that passage. Paul is confident that he is living sincerely before God. He allows God to lead his decision-making processes. He has conducted himself with honor to the best of his ability and has been straightforward with no double-speak. And here’s the best part: though circumstances may not make sense and people may not understand him, he trusts in his relationship with God more than the “questions” that may hang over his head. He’s not certain…but he’s confident.

Sometimes confidence comes across as naiveté or hubris…simply because there’s no reason to be quite so optimistic about life. But confident Christians have figured out something that eludes most people trapped inside the quest for certainty: God thinks we’re okay. They are just simple enough to believe such a preposterous assertion. Any of us can discard the fake notion that we are certain of anything. We can rest in the truth that we are accepted by God and that this truth (and this truth alone) determines our focus in life.

Six Months of Soul, Part 1

I took a break from blogging about six months ago to get some material written for our church start and give more attention to transitions in our home. But I didn’t stop thinking about stuff. So, the next three post are topics that I have spent significant time thinking about during the last six months. I thought I’d share my thoughts about them with you. First up:  shame. Sounds riveting, right? Actually, it is one of the more important spiritual issues of today and the reason people are leaving the church in droves. Shame is the “quiet motivator” in our churches for everything from good behavior to political positions to social issues. The worth we assign to ourselves and to each other determines how we treat others. We just don’t see it unless someone exposes it.

Shame is a sense of worthlessness or inferiority that plagues all of us at some level. Those who live with chronic shame feel inadequate, unwanted, rejected and often engage in self-contempt through negative talk. They never feel “good enough” for anyone. It’s also our own sense of shame that causes us to turn on others or engage in addictive behavior. It’s a horrible cycle – one that I have struggled with at times in my own life. Maybe you have as well.

The Bible has some really important things to say about shame and our relationship to it. It starts in the book of Genesis (2:25, 3:7). In chapter 2, we find humans comfortable with who they are. They are open, vulnerable, and sincere in their relationship with each other and with God. But by chapter 3, we find them hiding from God. Now, at that point, they we guilty of sin…but God did not shame them for their decision. They internalized their guilt as worthlessness and hid from God. Kinda like we still do today.

Guilty? Sure. But worthless? Hardly. Most people still can’t tell the difference.

Sadly, for many, their experience with religion has heightened their sense of shame. Their worthlessness is bantered around in sermons and liturgy every week that invite them to grovel before God’s feet. What’s worse, the church often “talks dirty” to get the attention of the shamed, rejected, and unwanted. But the church never addresses the deep inferiority people feel by giving them the acceptance they truly need. People need more than pardon. They need healing.

It’s important for people to know they are forgiven. Hebrews 10:22 says we are not only forgiven but cleaned from a “guilty conscience.” But something even deeper happened on the cross – God healed our shame. Luke 18:32 says that Jesus was specifically treated “shamefully” when he was crucified. In that moment of abandonment, Jesus carried the deepest and most pervasive emotional scar that any human can carry: shame.

At the cross, God said to every person that would listen, “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. You are unconditionally loved and accepted by me.” God’s heart breaks for his abused and shamed children. They are made in the image of God but they refuse to believe it. Shamed people don’t need a more acute sense of their own sin. Instead, they need a sense of just how loved and accepted they are by their Creator.

Though God gives us final value and esteem, each of us can choose to be agents of grace to those around us. We can give others small amounts of value in each conversation and act of kindness we display. You have the chance to help heal another person’s inadequacy, inferiority, and rejection. To help heal their shame. Or, better yet, we can embrace what God really thinks about us and allow him to heal our shame, worthlessness and rejection. After all, those are our feelings, not God’s.

Faith’s Missing Element

Following up on my last post…

I hate the word “missional.” I also hate the words “attractional, invitational, and incarnational.” Alright. I don’t hate them. I just think they are unnecessary. It’s like a bunch of Christians got in a room together and said “Ending words with ‘-ism’ is so passé. Let’s change it up a bit and use something that sounds more hip. How about we create buzzwords with “-al” at the end?” I apologize for being facetious. But I do find the jargon  bandwagon a little cramped these days. So, how about I don’t get on.

I had coffee with a friend last week and we were talking about Christians finding practical ways to serve their communities. Buzzwords ( ending in “-al”) make little impact. Sharing with and serving others is difficult for church people. We often lack the faith required to put action to our beliefs. So, we find convenient ways to serve or give or love. Because we are obsessed with materialism, we usually throw money at a problem…in the form of an offering or a purchased item that seems to be lacking in someone’s life. In our economy, giving money to a problem (whether it’s abroad or in our backyard) is not as easy as it used to be. But it is still fairly easy. So, when we raise money to build a building in another country we are honestly doing the least mount of work. And if we send a group to do international missions, we are still leaving behind the majority of people in our churches who feel they have done their work by dropping a small offering in the offering plate. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a fan of mission trips (we have some excellent missions work going on right now at our church)…but it only involves a few people.  It rarely involves the whole church. I place the blame for this at the feet of ministers just like me. We tell people what to support, what to publicize, and what ideas to champion. When we do, we create a bunch of bobble-heads with wallets…

I believe there’s a missing element to faith in our churches today. That element is creativity. When thinking of ways to impact the world around them, people no longer think for themselves. That’s why I believe creativity is the largest barrier to faith. Rather than being led by the Holy Spirit to find unique ways to further the kingdom of God, we fall back on conventional methods of programming that impact many but often involve few. The most creative ways Christians are living out their faith usually involve little money and are extremely simple ideas. But these ideas are their own. Things get complex when we create programs to do what people who love God do naturally: meet each other’s needs in simple, effective, and inexpensive ways.

The church doesn’t need more money or publicity. It needs to free people to be creative in how they express their faith to others. Creativity creates ownership and a sense of purpose. People are already “missional.” We need to spend less time convincing them of that and more time creating a culture where no idea is off limits regardless of how small, inexpensive, or insignificant it may seem. It’s in those small details that that church will continue to grow. Mustard seeds grow into something much larger.

I’m still thinking through all of this. What do you think about it?

Evangelism Is Dead

I was driving to speak at a men’s conference about two months ago when I saw a church marquee that caught my attention. It said:

What would you need to see on our sign to get you to come to church?

Hmmm. Now, granted, it was a more traditional church with no inkling of forward motion in a while. But the sign angered me. It essentially said to the unchurched in the area: “Come to us. We’re not coming to you.” Or maybe we could put it this way: “We have the truth. If you’re seeking it, you should probably show up here at our predetermined service times. This may inconvenience you. But the truth is worth your inconvenience.” What would someone need to see on that sign? Nothing. Because the message of that sign speaks to a bygone era. The cold hard fact is that the days of “propositional” evangelism are gone.

Let me explain what I mean. Propositional evangelism is the idea that sharing the gospel with someone involves  reciting a series of facts that others are supposed to believe simply because you have informed them. A couple of things are wrong with this. First, this type of evangelism assumes that information changes someone. And some information does change us and our perspective on life. But spiritual truths run deeper than a pamphlet or the “Roman road.” In the U.S., the idea that you can share the basics of Christianity with someone and they will smack their forehead and said, “Oh!  I had no idea!” really doesn’t exist anymore. The second issue revolves around truth. In our postmodern age, there are truth claims that compete against each other…and no longer is Christianity held as the highest pinnacle of truth attainment. In every area of society, we now live in the “marketplace” of ideas – a giant supermarket full of ideologies that are all marked half-price.This makes those who are into propositional evangelism extremely angry… because they have no leg of established credibility to stand on since their “market share” is the same as everyone else’s.

What does exist is relational or trust-based evangelism. Since no one has to “buy in” to the Christian paradigm anymore, people come to understand more about Jesus through their relationships with others and the slow and steady trust built through long-lasting friendships. People are certainly interested in ultimate truth – they always will be. But the doorway to speak to others about that truth has nothing to do with the accuracy of truth claims. Those with the relationships will ultimately be granted the opportunity to answer questions about truth. This is bad news for many of us in the evangelical camp… because we are lazy.  We’re not used to having to work at relating to others simply because we assume that everyone will be enamored with our wisdom. They’re not.

I heard a quote several months ago by a pastor named John Lynch. He said:

Truth is never received unless it is given in the context of trust.

That doesn’t mean the truth is up for grabs. But it does mean that the method by which it can be relayed as changed drastically. Only when I have earned someone’s trust based on friendship and service am I able to share with them what I believe about God. After all, that is  the message of the gospel. Jesus scrapped all his positions and titles to live amongst us (Philippians 2). And by living with us, he showed us how to live.

 

Book Review: Kissing Fish

I just finished a really interesting book yesterday. It’s by Roger Wolsey and it’s called Kissing Fish. The book is somewhat of a spiritual manifesto on a movement that is taking shape in America: Progressive Christianity. Notice I didn’t say liberal Christianity or modern or postmodern. I said progressive. Roger is an extremely approachable guy. He’s ordained Methodist and ministers at the Boulder campus of the University of Colorado – a place not exactly known as a bastion for conservative Christianity. And that’s what I like about this book: it gives real and practical thoughts about ministering to a generation where they are, not where we think they should be.

Roger puts it this way in his opening chapter: “I discovered the disappointing gap between idealistic notions of what the Church can and could be – and the decidedly non-ideal, petty, political, conflicted, dysfunctional beautiful messes that most of them are” (45).  Hopefully, that doesn’t put you off…particularly since Paul Tillich voiced similar sentiments in his History of Christian Thought: “…the gap between its claim and its reality.” Anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski has said the same about primitive religions. So, Roger is in good company.

Progressive Christianity seeks to develop a something other than a religion about Jesus. It focuses on the religion of Jesus: “his actual beliefs, practices, and lifestyle” (58). Sanctification is at its core: the slow gradual growth towards Christ-likeness in individual piety and social justice. Not one of the other. Both. Progressive Christianity is more tolerant for the sake of inclusion, reconciliation, and healing. Along with that is a level of inclusivism for other religions and alternative lifestyles and a blending of religious traditions that may make conservative evangelicals nervous.  That’s okay. The label “progressive” appeals to a different demographic. And as a wise woman told me a few weeks ago, “alternative” is quickly becoming “mainstream” where religious preference is concerned.

For the first half of the book, Roger works his way through a loosely knit systematic theology, tweaking it as he goes. He says gems like “…what Jesus talked about most wasn’t himself…”(161) or “”[Progressives] concern is more upon living and loving in God’s Kingdom right now and faithfully helping to manifest it all the more” (177).  These quotes don’t sound progressive to me – they sound like accurate notions of biblical Christianity. Even in the deep South (where I live), people are whispering similar phrases in dark alleys where it’s safe.

The second half of the book is a more practical outworking of these ideas. Roger starts off this way:

As the old Swing era hit put it, “‘It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing” and brother-sister, love is that swing. You can meditate and pray, go to church, get baptized and take communion, light candles and burn incense, read sacred texts, chant, fast and do yoga, and even help out at soup kitchens, but if you aren’t doing them with love, it’s all a bunch of vapid, empty horse apples. I know what I’m talking about. I’ve got a shed full of them (250).

See why I like this guy?! He then spends several chapters unpacking the practical nature of love in action. He covers everything from practical acts of kindness to the spiritual discipline of “centering prayer.” Now, what’s great about that is usually we lean to one side of the other: we focus on Christianity as meeting the needs of others or meeting our own needs. Roger holds them in tandem…just like God probably designed to begin with.

This is good book. Particularly if you’ve never read something from this paradigm before. I have one drawback: it could’ve been shorter and had the same impact. The word “redaction criticism” should’ve never made it in this work simply because those concerned with hermeneutics won’t be reading it. Still, it’s a fun, personal and engaging book. I liked it. Roger tells you in the postlude that’s he’s not saying anything new…and that’s true. I would add the names, Richard Rohr, Dallas Willard, Henri Nouwen, John Wesley, and (my theological hero) Horace Bushnell to the list. But what Kissing Fish  does represent is a growing ensemble of voices originating in places other than what some would call “left field.” There was very little I disagreed with in this book and I consider myself to be a “post-conservative” evangelical. Roger may use the word “progressive” but what he is describing is very quickly becoming the norm. And for that, Kissing Fish is worth the read.