Lessons from “Sally the Horse”

Annagale came home with this in her school work the other day. Okay, the spelling isn’t perfect but when I read it, I became extremely angry. Let me decipher it for you: “Sally the horse was pretty good. She did what you told her.” More than a grammar exercise, Annagale was conveying something I am doing my best to counteract: conformity. This is no reflection on her teacher (who is exceptional) and her school (which is highly acclaimed). Schools are not to blame for this – they merely reflect what we feel is appropriate for human behavior. It has to do with the paradigms we instill in our children at a young age. My children (and your children) are not “good” because they do what we think they should. They are “good” simply because they are. God made them that way.

I find myself on occasion correcting my children not because they need correction but because I’m embarrassed that others will judge me for their behavior. Rather, I should be fostering their creativity, individuality, and a personal sense of “God-esteem.” I want them to learn everything they can including obedience. But that doesn’t include conformity. If you’ve never seen this incredible TED talk by Ken Robinson,” I think you would enjoy it.

Here’s another take on the issue by Christian leadership guru Tim Elmore.

The Preachers

In two potentially narcissistic posts, I’d like to share some of the preachers/teachers and books that have really shaped my worldview, influenced my reading of the Bible, and transformed my preaching style.

Now, as I’ve said before, I’m a spiritual “mutt.” I have no problem with this. Mutts can be good dogs, too. And I think this becomes fairly clear when I start listing influences in my spiritual life. Though I’m Wesleyan through and through, there aren’t many Methodists in this list. It’s also interesting that I’ve met very few of those that have influenced me the most.

Malcolm Smith. Hands down, this guy is the most spiritually influential teacher in my life. Somewhere along the way, my grandmother pulled out a series of tapes (yes, tapes) by a Charismatic Episcopal Bible teacher named Malcolm Smith. He said more about theology, practical living, and pastoral guidance in one sermon than all the sermons I’d previously heard combined. I listened for hours. I’m still listening.

Martyn Ll0yd-Jones. Lloyd-Jones is an icon in Christian circles. Pastor of Westminster Chapel in later years, he is one of the most articulate and precise preachers I have ever heard. For years, Lloyd-Jones was a medical doctor and when he answered the call to preach, he brought that same “surgical” expository style to his sermons. Listening to ”the Doctor” is like watching someone peel back layers of an onion. For him, the gospel was only as good as it was practical.

Greg Boyd. Theology professor turned pastor, listening to Greg is like listening to a mad man. He’s all over the place. But his understanding of God and his ability to relay the importance of the cross is unmatched. Greg goes where many preachers do not go – he always has a fresh perspective. Rarely have I seen a male pastor give so much attention to soul care and the emotional, intuitive side of Christianity. He’s a joy to listen to.

John Lynch. This guy is a new find for me. Mix a dry wit and a message of radical grace and you’ll get John’s sermons. He’s the teaching pastor at Open Door Fellowship Church in Phoenix, Arizona. I love the fact that John never gets tired of his central message: the love and grace of God. But more than a conceptual model, John talks about how grace makes its way into our practical lives. Good stuff.

There are others I listen to: Andy Stanley, John Eldredge, Craig Groeschel, etc. But for many people, the guys above are off the radar. Give them a listen when you have time.

There’s one more preacher I should mention: my former boss, Leigh Ann Raynor. She’s the Senior Minister at Porterfield UMC in Albany, Georgia. The first time I heard Leigh Ann speak, I was fascinated. Previously, I had preached countless sermons in a more extemporaneous style…and all the pitfalls that came with it: lack of clarity, rambling, and flippant regard for the time of those listening to me. Somewhere along the way God began to convict me that if I couldn’t say what I needed to say within about 25 minutes, then I was being a bad steward of the time I was given to speak. Now, that’s not for everyone – it’s just what I felt God was saying to me. So, while attending her services and serving on her staff I took notes not only on what Leigh Ann said but how she said it. Every word was chosen carefully and delivered with an extemporaneous feel…but she was preaching from a transcript. After a slow marriage of the two, I now preach in a style that is similar to hers. The point? Don’t ever underestimate the influence of a local minister. If you are one, take heart –  people are listening more than you think.

“Grace Revealed,” Part 3

And there’s one more area that grace can impact our daily lives. And that’s having a grace-filled church. Churches often receive a bad rep nowadays. You hear comments about how people “love Jesus, but hate the church.” I’m not so sure God feels that way. In fact, the Bible seems to be pretty clear that God thinks the church – with all its judgment, criticism, gossip, and pride – is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. A perfect and radiant bride for whom he would do anything…even die a horrible death.

So, what does a grace-filled church look like? I’ve got a couple of ideas, but let me illustrate with another story about children. My two older daughters are pretty steady kids. They don’t overreact too much when they don’t get their way. So, when they started school, I noticed something that completely threw me for a loop. When I would pick up the girls, buckle them in their seats and drive off, they would both start crying…I’m talking about emotionally falling apart, people! I couldn’t figure out why this was happening. I scolded them for crying. I bribed them with candy. I tried to get them to sing songs with me. Nothing worked! I asked our caretaker if the same thing happened with her. She smirked and told me they saved that especially for me! This went on for several months…until finally I read something interesting in a parenting book. Children often withhold their emotional reactions to the day’s events until they are most secure – in this case, with a parent. In other words, my daughters were saving their true feeling for a time when they felt safest: with their daddy.

People look to churches for the same thing. For a church, there’s a simple formula as well: grace = safe. More than just a Methodist compliance statement, God has called the church to be a “safe sanctuary” for everyone who comes here. In a grace-filled church, people can fall apart and it’s okay. It’s fine for people to struggle. To confess. To grieve. To share their deepest hurts without fear of it being immediately placed on the gossip vine. It takes a long time for someone to give their trust and confidence to another. And it only takes one moment for that trust to be shattered. Like my daughters, people intuitively know when their church becomes a place where it is no longer safe to share.

What does a grace-filled church look like? It values the feelings of others. It creates ways for people to be open and honest about their struggles. It believes the best about others, even when there may be evidence to the contrary. It encourages and lifts up those who are hurting. It ministers to people who don’t fit the mold rather than distancing itself from them. It focuses on the important things in life rather than obsessing over trivialities. In other words, like Numbers 6, it’s a church with a smile on its face…only because the smile is genuine. It reflects the gracious glory of God with the same terms that describe its Maker: favorable, pleasant, generous, kind, concerned for other’s well-being, beautiful, benevolent, and full of gratitude. Are we a grace-filled church? I think so. Are there ways we can become a more gracious church? A safe house for hurting people? Sure there are. There’s always room to grow.

So, how does this happen? How do we become a grace-filled person, family, and church? Well, this may sound a little simplistic, but there’s no quick fix or magic formula. Grace fills our lives simply by letting Christ do those things through us. To be grace-filled toward others, we must first accept grace for ourselves. We must learn to live in a grace-filled relationship with Christ. That means that we stop keeping rules for God and learn to rest in his arms. It means we must first be open with God before we can be open with others. It means we allow God’s healing grace access to every detail of our lives. For then and only then can we show graciousness to others in the smallest of ways.

And that’s the problem for many people who don’t live grace-filled lives toward others. It’s because they have never received grace for themselves. They’ve never released themselves from their own tyrannical expectations. They never collapsed in the arms of Jesus because they were too busy trying to impress him. I suppose that’s what Catholic monk Thomas Merton was talking about. He said, “If we believe God is a stern, cold lawgiver who has no real interest in us, who is merely a ruler, lord, and judge and not a father, we will have great difficulty living the Christian life.” And if the Christian life is anything, it’s a life of grace.

Why were those early Christians willing to joyously shout “Grace to you!” as they passed each other in the street? They realized that despite their flaws and failures, God was smiling at them. That may be difficult for some of you right now as post-Christmas blues set in. Christmas is not the easiest time for many people. But what I hope you walk away with this morning is this: when God looks at you – this morning, right where you are – he smiles at you, too. He always gives us the benefit of the doubt. Do you want to put God in a good mood? Start spending time with him. And as we are given a revelation of grace in Jesus Christ, it captures our imagination. It focuses our attention. And gradually we become grace-filled just like the gracious God who created us for friendship with him.

“Grace Revealed,” Part 2

You may be saying, “That’s all fine and good, Sam. But how does that apply to my daily life?” So, let’s explore some ways that serving a grace-filled God impacts our lives. First up: what does it mean to be grace-filled people? As a parent some of my most basic examples of Christian living come from my interactions with my children. And somewhere along the line I learned about what parenting experts call “retreating with dignity.” Children make mistakes all the time.  Some parents choose to put their children on the spot, accusing them of making a mistake. Sometimes that works. Other times, all that does is intimidate the child into lying.

But when you allow a child to “retreat with dignity,” you give them ample opportunities to right their wrongs. You give them the chance to do right thing rather than immediately confronting them. When children feel they can trust the adult, they will open up to them. That’s difficult for parents to do – it requires humility, patience, self-control, and a certain leveraging of authority. Here’s a personal example. Sometimes our children tell us they have brushed their teeth when really, they haven’t been in the bathroom long enough to do so. And, certainly, there was no toothpaste involved. We can react one of two ways. We can say, “I know you didn’t brush your teeth – there wasn’t enough time! Get back in there!” Or we can say, “Wow, that was quick! Do you need another minute to brush some more?” the second one allows a child to retreat with dignity – without shame and condemnation.

Really, as grace-filled people, we have the same options. Do we strong-arm people into confessions of guilt or do we allow the Holy Spirit to convict? Chances are we’ve had plenty of chances to overlook the ingratitude and inappropriate remarks of others during the holidays, right? Listen to some scriptures about being grace-filled people in moments of great annoyance:

A foolish person shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. (Prov. 12:16)

A person’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. (Prov. 19:11)

Peter, the disciple known for sticking the proverbial foot in his mouth, echoes Proverbs:

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 4:8-11)

That’s the definition of graciousness – what grace looks like when Christians display it. It’s giving someone the benefit of the doubt, knowing that God will correct them in his timing, not ours.

So, what’s another area where grace can impact practical living? How about our family life? It’s normally our spouses and children that bear the brunt of our graceless words and actions. And that’s part of being a family. But what about a grace-filled family? What would a family centered on grace look like? Well, for families, there’s a simple formula: grace = space. Family members need space to be who they are, to make mistakes, and feel unconditionally loved in the process. And for that to happen, several things have to go out the window.

First, spouses and children have to be free of unspoken expectations about who they must be. All parents have expectations for their children…and spouses have expectations for one another. But when family members are held to a standard they do not know about much less are able to meet, defeat and resentment set in. Second, a grace-filled family is free of control and manipulation. One family member cannot hold the others “hostage” through intimidation, guilt, shame, emotional outbursts, and the like. To do so undercuts the trust and respect that God desires as the foundation of each family.

Does that mean that we shouldn’t have standards of behavior and consequences for our children? I’m not saying that at all. But how we apply those standards makes all the difference in the world. Once again, look at Jesus. He derived the same results as the Pharisees, but did so in a way that promoted love and freedom rather than legalism and fear. Likewise, a grace-filled family has the following qualities. Spouses work as a team rather than assign blame. They don’t drudge up past failures. They defer to each other and are more interested in what’s best for everyone involved. And finally, they allow God to do the correcting, not each other. Do we as parents as spouses have moments where cajoling, threatening, and manipulation occur? Sure. But for families walking in grace towards one another, those can be the exception – not the rule.

“Grace Revealed,” Part 1

Grace Revealed

12/27/09 (listen here)

2 Timothy 1:8-10

Today as part of our final Sunday in 2009, we’re going to talk about grace. Grace. Funny word, huh? It means different things to different people. It’s a pretty name. It describes someone with poise – someone who carries themselves well in social circles. Some people “say grace” at the dinner table. Then, there’s the spiritual definition. And that’s probably the most confusing of all. What is grace exactly? It’s often thrown around in the same category as mercy, or peace, or righteousness. Just another spiritual term that sounds abstract to us.

So, what is grace? Well, I always grew up hearing the standard definition “unmerited favor.” That didn’t make any sense either! But if you go back to the original languages of the Bible – Hebrew and Greek – then the picture becomes a little clearer.  In the Old Testament the word means favorable, elegant, pleasant, generous, kind, enjoyable. The word picture given is of someone who when you see them, you can tell they are in a good mood just by the look on their face. We can see this idea in a famous Old Testament passage – Numbers 6: “May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.”

To match these ideas in the Greek language, the New Testament writers borrowed a secular term: charis most often used in festive settings. People would raise their glasses and toast saying, “Grace!” similar to saying Salud! or Cheers! or Prost! Or even the infamous “Bottoms up!” The word meant health, favor, beauty, goodwill, benevolence, and gratitude. Christians would walk down the street and exclaim “Grace to you!” Life is good! We’re forgiven! God is smiling over us!

So, why all the fuss? Why were the earliest Christians so joyous about their faith? I see Christians today and often think about how unhappy they seem. Sure, they’re doing all the right things…but there’s no joy. They often serve God as if it requires us to walk around on egg shells. That God at best merely tolerates us. I believe it’s because they may not understand exactly what it means to serve a grace-filled God.

You see, when we say that God is a God of grace, that means that those qualities we mentioned before also describe our relationship with him: favorable, pleasant, generous, kind, concerned for our well-being, beautiful, benevolent, and full of gratitude. It means that God not only loves you…but that he likes you. He’s not tolerating you and rolling his eyes when we inconvenience him. He’s not impatient with our mistakes and condescending. When God thinks about you, he smiles. Time spent with you puts God in a good mood. God is a God who always gives us the benefit of the doubt. He’s the perpetual optimist.

Now, some people don’t like that idea. They think it makes God look weak. A stern God works better for them. God is better seen as the enforcer. As if we need someone to remind us of how bad things can be for us if we don’t fall in line. And though that type of “divine disciplinarian” can change our behavior for a while…it doesn’t transform our hearts. Let me put it to you this way: you may be thankful for the policeman who keeps us safe. You may also be thankful that he turns onto another road after he’s been following you for a mile or so. But when was the last time you turned your car around, followed him down that road and invited him to dinner? And that’s the difference. We can be thankful for an enforcer – but that doesn’t mean he’s your friend.

And for me, that’s the “take home” lesson of the Advent season. Jesus became human to help us understand who he was. Up until that point there had been a good deal of miscommunication about who God was. Sometimes in the Old Testament, we have a beautifully shining picture of God “smiling over us” (like in Numbers 6). But other times we get a partial view of God, the best that the Israelites could give at the time. The picture of God was not totally clear. He’d be kind and gracious interacting with one person and then angry and violent in his next human encounter. And it leaves us with a view of an unpredictable and untrustworthy God. One day God is in a good mood and another day he’s in a bad mood.

And that’s why Jesus came: to clear up the confusion. You see, extreme miscommunication requires extreme clarification. And that’s what Jesus is for us. Jesus is God making things clear. Curious as to the character and nature of almighty God? Look no further than Jesus. Jesus is “grace revealed.” After all, Jesus said in John 14 that if you have observed him – how he treats others, how he compassionately heals the sick, how he pours his life into his friends – then you have a pretty good idea of what God looks like. In Jesus’ ministry, we see the definitions of “grace”: favorable, pleasant, generous, kind, compassionate, beautiful, benevolent, and full of gratitude. Jesus is the grace-filled God. A God who gives the benefit of the doubt. A divine optimist who believes that the good work he began in you will be completed (Phil. 1:6). It’s also why the author of Hebrews reminds us to fix our eyes on Jesus, “the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (NLT).

Don’t Like Unlimited Atonement? Take It Up With Jesus.

I’ve always struggled with the end of Matthew 22:1-14: the Parable of the Marriage Feast. I think it’s great that when the master’s acquaintances dishonor him by refusing the invitation to the feast, the master invites anyone else who might be willing to attend so that the wedding hall could be filled with guests. To me, that’s very much a view of unlimited atonement. However, at the end of the parable, the master throws some guy out for not having on the proper wedding garment - something I had always been taught that each guest personally brings with them. I’ve heard some preachers imply that the garment represents faith or good works or divine election, depending which one of those “vices” appeals most to your theological leanings. But I came across something a while back that changed how I read the last part of this parable.

This ”wedding garment” (sometimes called a Kuftan) is an outer robe that was worn at formal functions. Everyone wore this garment, whether they owned one or not. It was a symbol of equality: once everyone had theirs on, status and prestige disappeared and all respect was paid to the bridegroom alone. But the most important thing about this wedding garment was that it was provided by the host family to everyone who attended. Wealthy families (the kind that would’ve staged this feast) had a closet of them solely for the purpose of giving them out to their guests.

Now, that should change things for you. The master in the story sees a man in the main room (not in the foyer where the garments were given out) without his wedding garment on. He says, “Friend, how did you come in here (the main hall) without your wedding garment (Kuftan)?” In other words, you were offered a Kuftan when you entered…and the only reason you wouldn’t have it on now is if you purposefully chose to reject it. And that obstinate behavior is what caused the master to throw the guest out of the party.

You see, according to the context of first century Judaism, everyone would have received a wedding garment. There was no need to earn it, nor was it given to only a select or arbitrary few. Anyone and everyone received the garment regardless of socio-economic background or cultural status. And once everyone was together wearing their robes, egalitarianism reigned in the house of the master. And that’s exactly what Jesus was trying to say. Everyone gets a robe…unless they refuse to wear it. And even then, the master in this story offered the guest a second chance to reconsider before he threw him out – but the guest did not respond.

God’s not looking to throw anyone out of the party. In fact, you really have to want to get thrown out. And in this way, the marriage feast parable is fairly explicit in teaching unlimited atonement. To read beyond or dismiss this contextual clue is irresponsible. Personally, I’m thankful it’s in there. I’ve been stubborn enough at times to resist the wedding garment only to be drawn back to the king when he entreats me to return to the Kuftan closet and put it on. In this parable, the wedding garment is not a sign of judgment. It’s availability to all guests is a sign of God’s mercy and grace to anyone and everyone who wants to attend the feast.

What Can We Know About Heaven and Hell?

I’ve heard a lot of sermons on heaven and hell. Too many I think. But I have noticed something interesting in the last few years: the detailed accuracy with which people describe both eternal places. Preachers seem to know everything about heaven and hell. Particularly hell. And that strikes me as strange for a couple of reasons.

First, the New Testament language about heaven is pretty vague. Certainly not up to our Western standards of rational detailed analysis. Most heavenly images are taken from Revelation which is clearly a book of symbols and Jewish apocalyptic imagery. Plus we have various experts describing heaven in detail for us, even down to what kind of house we get and what types of jobs will be waiting for us. Honestly, despite the popularity of Randy Alcorn’s book, most of that is conjecture. Peacefulness, joy, and comfort certainly describe it, but most people understand that golden streets and crystal seas are illustrations for something truly indescribable. People are okay with a preacher saying, “I don’t know everything about heaven, but I know it’s gonna be good!”

What’s more fascinating is the painstaking detail in which hell is described. Eternal torment involving fire, pain, and torture. According to most evangelial views of hell, people have the rest of eternity to sit around on fire and think about the bad things they did. Okay, that’s a little sarcastic there, but honestly hell is used more often in altar calls than heaven is. Some people, just in my questioning of the standard image of hell are getting nervous reading this right now. But what’s so strange about that is just how ambiguous the Bible is about the afterlife. People are satisfied to know that God has prepared somewhere for them in heaven and that puts their lack of detail at ease. But hell is a different story. In fact, the more detailed you can be, the better chance of scaring someone into salvation.

But really, hell is even more ambiguous than heaven. The Old Testament uses the word sheol to describe the afterlife – a word that means “grave” and little more. The Jews were relatively unconcerned about the afterlife, fully content to focus on what they could do in the present life to honor God. The New Testament seems to be more exact. But a closer look shows that there’s still much to debate. Jesus describes some ideas about it, but never really gives us details. He compares it to a local garbage dump (Gehenna) and talks about worms. And there’s more. The Greek word (aiōnios) generally used to describe the fire of hell is translated in as “eternal” – a period of time.  But in other places, the same word is used to describe an act of permanence of destruction – a state of quality. So, traditionalists say that it means eternal fire while conditionalists say it means permanent destruction (death) of the wicked. But the truth is that aiōnios and its Hebrew counterpart (olam) speak of things that all come to an end: the Passover, Caleb’s inheritance, Solomon’s Temple, and Gehazi’s leprosy. It’s just not that simple – the word means both. Similarly, traditionalists say that “gnashing of teeth” describes the torment of sinners in hell. But the ancient use found in the Old Testament assigned “gnashing of teeth” to someone about to destroy another – in the conditionalist’s case: God. So what does that mean to us today?  Honestly, it doesn’t tell us much.  And that’s the point I’m making. The same verses are used by people who believe different things about hell. And, surprisingly, I’m okay with that.

Why can we leave the details of heaven alone yet be compelled to extract every detail about hell? Because hell helps preachers out. Descriptions of hell illicit responses from people and, if used just right, can increase altar call numbers. But in doing that, I think we miss the point. When I told someone the other night that the gospel is not about them not going to hell, they looked at me strangely. They simply had never thought that there might be something beyond “fire insurance” and a list of do’s and don’ts to the gospel. The Bible shrouds the afterlife in ambiguity for a very important reason: so we won’t be tempted to bribe people into the Kingdom of God using either heaven or hell. If that’s what made you decide to be a Christian, then great. But intimacy with God lies beyond such ”survival of the fittest” techniques of evangelism. The gospel is about falling in love with a God who has already declared his unconquerable love for you.

Preaching the Synoptic Gospels

I finally finshed up my reading on faith and science. That was certainly a lot to think about. I’ll post about those ideas in the next few weeks as I get my thoughts together for my Sunday school series.

So, I finally get to read something I am interested in for a few weeks. I immediately pulled Brad Young’s latest book, Meet the Rabbis off the shelf – I’ve been dying to read it for months. It reminded me about how much I love the “Jerusalem School” of Synoptic  interpretation. That is something I’ve never really posted about so I thought I’d do that here. I first encountered this movement while studying the historical background of the New Testament in graduate school. It was marvelous. I thought my brain was going to explode. The context of first century Judaism is one of the most (if not the most) important aspects of Synoptic interpretation. Since the early 80s, the Jerusalem School has used rabbinical tradition and Jewish cultural context to frame the words of Jesus (It began with the work of David Flusser, Robert Lindsey, and Shmuel Safrai at Hebrew University). In its rabbinical context, Jesus’ words reveal precise interpretation – something lost in our generalized, Westernized approach to scripture. For me, they do what Robert Alter and Simon Bar-Efrat have done for the Old Testament. If you are preaching the gospels and have not digested their research, chances are good you may be missing a significant part of its meaning – particularly the parables. And that doesn’t have to do with our ability to interpret a text, but rather our inability to fully interpret without the original rabbinical references. All the Greek in the world won’t help you unearth those Hebraisms that inform that original interpretation.

Though not all of the books below originated in the “Jerusalem School,” here’s a good list to start with when learning about Synoptic context and rabbinical tradition:

Brad Young, The Parables: Jewish Tradition and Christian Interpretation

Kenneth Bailey, Poet and Peasant/Through Peasant Eyes

David Bivin and Roy Blizzard, Understanding the Difficult Words of Jesus

David Daube,  The New Testament and Rabbinic Judaism

Julius Scott, Jewish Backgrounds of the New Testament

Marvin Wilson, Our Father Abraham

David Flusser, The Sage of Galilee

David Instone-Brewer, Traditions of the Rabbis from the Era of the New Testment: Prayer and Agriculture

Oskar Skarsaune, In the Shadow of the Temple: Jewish Influences on Early Christianity

 Do yourself a favor and read everything Young and Bailey have written.

Here’s a thought: a lot of folks are worried about “postfoundationalist” interpretation of the Bible – that there is no “framework” in which to firmly place Jesus’ teachings. But it seems that Jesus made sure that his words would not be interpreted too far from his original intent. He didn’t choose archaeology or geography to anchor his teachings. He chose literature – rabbinic literature to be exact. And the literature/oral tradition with which Jesus interacted (the Mishnah, Tosefta, and Tannaitic Midrashim, etc.) has been painstakingly preserved by its followers. So, the “reference” points of the gospels are as strong today as when they were spoken by Jesus himself. Curious about the “framework” from which Jesus taught? Check out the books above.

“Change We Can Believe In,” Part 3

As usual, God offers us an alternative. Self-esteem is derived from something deeper: God-esteem. I am convinced that deep down, what we think about ourselves is directly related to what we believe God thinks about us. Behind each of our motives lies a deeper truth: the core of our being is directly tied to how we view God. If you believe God thinks little of you, then you’ll think little of yourself. If you wake up every morning to a God who plans to bully you through adverse circumstances all day to teach you some patience, then your day isn’t going to go very well. If you believe God tolerates you, then you will merely tolerate others. But if you believe God is gracious and kind…if you believe that God not only loves you, but that God likes you, you will esteem yourself differently. Honestly, 99% of events in a day have little effect on your life. Yet, we swing back and forth, acting like insignificant issues are life-changing. There are only two reasons for this: 1) we’re bored or 2) we have nothing more permanent to base our outlook on.

God-esteem places full confidence in the permanent character of God. For me, this is based solely on the unyielding love of a God who wants my affection and devotion. His love for me is unconditionally the same at all times in life. Churches have heard about the love of God so much that they fail to realize what it entails. The key to understanding the love of God is to understand that it’s unconditional. Before I understood what unconditional love meant, I had assumed that God’s love was like that of a parent or friend – it rose and fell based on my performance for him. When I say that I mean I believed that although God “loved” me the majority of the time, I felt like God rarely approved of my walk with him. His love, acceptance, and approval was conditional – based on the circumstances of my behavior.

Unconditional love is love that isn’t swayed by performance. And though I knew that there was nothing I could do to make God love me less, I had missed the other side of unconditionality. There was nothing I could do to make God love me more. So, all my attempts to get God’s attention were not increasing his delight in me. I was not winning him over with my scripture memory or my praise and having my radio preset to K-Love. He was winning me over with his unconquerable, unstoppable, undaunted love for me. I was the center of God’s full, intense, and romantic affection. And I was not getting his attention – he was stalking me with an undying level of infatuation that never ends. And there was nothing I could do to change that – all I had to do was lay back into his love and rest there my whole life.

Love without conditions. Without reservations. Without qualifications. Though others may see me as a failure, in God’s eyes, I never am. So my outlook on life never changes – and my view of myself reflects that permanence of God’s unconditional love. My self-esteem is really God-esteem. How does God esteem me? He loves me. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it! That’s the ultimate “happening” in life…a truth that lives above the ups and downs of life’s circumstances. God-esteem keeps us stable in times of change – it’s the only permanent thing on the planet. And that’s the root of lasting joy and fulfillment. When you can stake your life on the reality of Zephaniah 3:17: that God takes “delight in you with gladness/With his love he will calm all your fears/He will rejoice over you with joyful songs,” then you have something that gives you permanent joy. That’s what God thinks about me. That’s what God thinks about you.

Our scripture this morning reflects this truth. How do we know that God loves us unconditionally? We find the answer in Jesus. Jesus is God explaining himself to the world…inviting us into his forgiveness and grace. “God became flesh and dwelt among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ. Jesus, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.” We were created to connect with God in such a way that the changes of life seem trivial when we’re basking in the glow of God’s unconditional love.

Coping with change involves resting in the truth that something more permanent lies beyond the changes we see in life. Circumstances come and go, but at no point do we cease to be the sole focus of God’s intense unfailing, unconditional, eternal love. That’s a reality that doesn’t happen overnight for most people. You may feel you are undeserving of that type of love. I have good news: you’re in good company. No one deserves it. That’s the point. Yet, we gladly receive it. And as we learn to live our lives in that awesome truth, our dependence on the accolades of others, the tyranny of the workplace, and the desire for material things are seen for the second-rate things they are. Nothing compares to the unconquerable love of God. It’s waiting for you this morning.

“Change We Can Believe In,” Part 1

Change We Can Believe In

June 28^th, 2009

John 1:14-18

When Mike came to the office two Thursdays ago, I told him that I wasn’t sure what I planned to talk about this morning. He suggested something about new beginnings or change. I had actually been thinking about something similar to that, but until last Sunday I wasn’t sure what angle to take in speaking to you. But I wrote the initial notes to this sermon while I heard Mike speak in the traditional service last week. Mike was preaching from the same place that Leigh Ann had been just two weeks before. And though that’s not a bad thing, it is different. Change is a part of being human. Life is in a constant state of flux. One season of life ends as another one is beginning. Nothing stays still for long. Life is sometimes quick and ruthless with our feelings – we often have little time to adjust to much less navigate the twists and turns that come our way. But that’s because life encompasses something bigger than that change we feel.

Now, when we talk about change it can be approached from two main perspectives. One way is to emphasize the need for change – the idea that God has entered our heart to bring us to a place that is different that we we’ve been before. In that way change is not only good, it’s godly. But the second perspective is the one I’d like to address this morning. And that is when we feel like we’ve seen too much change. When enough things in life have shifted so that we feel off-balance. Uncertain. Maybe even fearful. For even though change can be positive, too much of it can also threaten our security. I think that’s part of human nature. In the counseling I’ve done, I’ve noticed that people don’t always choose the best option available to them. Rather, they choose the familiar option – the one they know will make them feel secure. Too much change sends us clamoring for something familiar to hold on to. This morning I want to talk about coping with change…and finding our identity and self-worth in God, not in our circumstances.

We’ve heard a lot about change over the past year: politics, financial markets, national and international conflicts. We can start with the campaign slogan for Barack Obama in last year’s presidential election: “Change We Can Believe In.” That’s an unusual saying, isn’t it? It encompasses the belief that in changing our circumstances, life gains meaning. This, of course, isn’t any old change – it’s change for the better. That idea is very much a part of the fabric of our society – the idea that we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and make our circumstances bend to our will. And I think a healthy work ethic is important. But there’s another side to that equation. What if things don’t improve after change comes? Well, most of the time, people begin to feel that they have done something wrong. That they aren’t worthy of the success and progress they long for. Somewhere along the line we have been given the impression that our value and worth is tied to our circumstances. We’ll come back to that idea in a minute.

I was thinking the other day about how many opportunities for change exist in our lifetime. What makes the first year of marriage so difficult is the struggle to adapt to that new spouse’s paradigm. We spend hours learning the mindset and emotional clues of the person we love. Eventually, we think we may have them figured out a little bit. We become comfortable with them and peace effortlessly floats into our home, right? And then you have children. People told me that my perspective would change and that I would actually get a clue about life when I had children. Of course, they we being condescending…but they were right, too. Nothing makes us put our own wants and desires on hold like raising a family. At no time must we juggle the impossible schedules of several individuals like when our home is full of children. Children are great – but they also keep us on our toes and require us to plan and think far into the future…when really we’d rather be thinking about well, at least for guys, sports. At other times we are thrown into national and international conflicts that threaten to disrupt everyday life. Those of you who have served in our military understand probably more than anyone what it means to serve, honor, and protect something greater than yourself at a moment’s notice.