The Spiritual Wanderings of a Famous Author

I went to see Les Misérables a few days ago. Amazing Film. And in the interest of full disclosure, I unashamedly cried like my three-year-old in several places throughout the film.

There’s a story about Victor Hugo that few people know. I stumbled across it  a few years ago and I couldn’t help thinking about it as I watched the film. Hugo grew up as the son of an atheist father and a devout Catholic mother. Initially, he found spiritual meaning in the Catholic Church but over time he found himself wandering into the “spiritual but not religious” movement of that day: Mesmerism. People who embraced Mesmerism were looking for some of the same “buzzwords” you might hear today: holism, spiritual encounter, empowerment, connection and, above all, meaning.

Steeped in political activism, Hugo was exiled to the Channel Islands in the early 1850s where he penned some of his most famous works, including Les Misérables. But also while there, he continued to grieve over the death of his only daughter, Léopoldine, some ten years earlier. Though Hugo was technically a rationalist on paper, he saw Mesmerism as a way to make contact with his own dear “Cosette.” So using a Mesmerist trance medium, he reached out to his daughter in the afterlife. There are records of Hugo’s séances.  They cite him pitifully pleading with his deceased daughter saying,

“Do you see the suffering of those who love you?”

It’s interesting to me that when Hugo reached for spiritual and emotional comfort, he did not embrace the formal religion of his youth. Rather, he sought contact with the spirit world through alternative spirituality. Someone who might be hailed as the political conscience of a entire country – like Hugo was – was really just like everyone else. He was simply a human trying to make sense of the world around him in the midst of tragedy and loss. He was simply someone willing to take risks to find a way to connect with God when more conventional means of religiosity had failed him time and again.

There’s a line in the song Red and Black that lodged in my memory as I watched the film the other day. As a political rebel fighting for a cause, Enjorlas chides the love-sick Marius, “But now there is a higher call. Who cares about your lonely soul?” But personally, Hugo was staging his own inner spiritual revolt on the Channel Islands while writing Les Misérables. And the question follows, is there really any higher call than each person’s desire to connect with God? Maybe the result of Hugo’s spiritual quest was unconventional. But we must admire someone who is willing to continue to look for something beyond what he could see.

Book Review: Kissing Fish

I just finished a really interesting book yesterday. It’s by Roger Wolsey and it’s called Kissing Fish. The book is somewhat of a spiritual manifesto on a movement that is taking shape in America: Progressive Christianity. Notice I didn’t say liberal Christianity or modern or postmodern. I said progressive. Roger is an extremely approachable guy. He’s ordained Methodist and ministers at the Boulder campus of the University of Colorado – a place not exactly known as a bastion for conservative Christianity. And that’s what I like about this book: it gives real and practical thoughts about ministering to a generation where they are, not where we think they should be.

Roger puts it this way in his opening chapter: “I discovered the disappointing gap between idealistic notions of what the Church can and could be – and the decidedly non-ideal, petty, political, conflicted, dysfunctional beautiful messes that most of them are” (45).  Hopefully, that doesn’t put you off…particularly since Paul Tillich voiced similar sentiments in his History of Christian Thought: “…the gap between its claim and its reality.” Anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski has said the same about primitive religions. So, Roger is in good company.

Progressive Christianity seeks to develop a something other than a religion about Jesus. It focuses on the religion of Jesus: “his actual beliefs, practices, and lifestyle” (58). Sanctification is at its core: the slow gradual growth towards Christ-likeness in individual piety and social justice. Not one of the other. Both. Progressive Christianity is more tolerant for the sake of inclusion, reconciliation, and healing. Along with that is a level of inclusivism for other religions and alternative lifestyles and a blending of religious traditions that may make conservative evangelicals nervous.  That’s okay. The label “progressive” appeals to a different demographic. And as a wise woman told me a few weeks ago, “alternative” is quickly becoming “mainstream” where religious preference is concerned.

For the first half of the book, Roger works his way through a loosely knit systematic theology, tweaking it as he goes. He says gems like “…what Jesus talked about most wasn’t himself…”(161) or “”[Progressives] concern is more upon living and loving in God’s Kingdom right now and faithfully helping to manifest it all the more” (177).  These quotes don’t sound progressive to me – they sound like accurate notions of biblical Christianity. Even in the deep South (where I live), people are whispering similar phrases in dark alleys where it’s safe.

The second half of the book is a more practical outworking of these ideas. Roger starts off this way:

As the old Swing era hit put it, “‘It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing” and brother-sister, love is that swing. You can meditate and pray, go to church, get baptized and take communion, light candles and burn incense, read sacred texts, chant, fast and do yoga, and even help out at soup kitchens, but if you aren’t doing them with love, it’s all a bunch of vapid, empty horse apples. I know what I’m talking about. I’ve got a shed full of them (250).

See why I like this guy?! He then spends several chapters unpacking the practical nature of love in action. He covers everything from practical acts of kindness to the spiritual discipline of “centering prayer.” Now, what’s great about that is usually we lean to one side of the other: we focus on Christianity as meeting the needs of others or meeting our own needs. Roger holds them in tandem…just like God probably designed to begin with.

This is good book. Particularly if you’ve never read something from this paradigm before. I have one drawback: it could’ve been shorter and had the same impact. The word “redaction criticism” should’ve never made it in this work simply because those concerned with hermeneutics won’t be reading it. Still, it’s a fun, personal and engaging book. I liked it. Roger tells you in the postlude that’s he’s not saying anything new…and that’s true. I would add the names, Richard Rohr, Dallas Willard, Henri Nouwen, John Wesley, and (my theological hero) Horace Bushnell to the list. But what Kissing Fish  does represent is a growing ensemble of voices originating in places other than what some would call “left field.” There was very little I disagreed with in this book and I consider myself to be a “post-conservative” evangelical. Roger may use the word “progressive” but what he is describing is very quickly becoming the norm. And for that, Kissing Fish is worth the read.

Are You a “Good” Parent?, Part 1

I’ve been thinking about what makes someone a good parent – or better yet, what we should consider good parenting skills. I’m finding there aren’t any hard, fast rules that determine whether your child turns out to be a Nobel Peace Prize winner or an ax murderer. And most kids end up somewhere in between anyway. A couple of books have brought this question to my attention.

The first was that fun little book Freakonomics. One of the chapters attempts to determine the bearing of different parenting styles on children. What the authors find is that socio-economic status has significant bearing in a specialized way. Children in middle to upper income families do better because of the opportunities that money gives them. Intelligence has little to do with it. For example, a child who reads children’s books in his/her home is likely to do well in life. But it’s not because they read better than another child. It’s because a child whose parents have enough money to buy children’s books are also going to have enough money to buy piano lessons, art lessons, etiquette classes, a private school education, etc. Baby Einstein videos don’t do much for your kid, but a parent willing to spend the money on those videos will most likely spend that same type of money on other things to make sure their children succeed. Interesting point. But it says nothing of spiritual or character formation.

The other two books were religious. The first was George Barna’s Revolutionary Parenting. This book was pretty adamant that a particular type of parent turns out spiritual “champions” on a regular basis. The type of parent? Evangelical and conservative. That wasn’t that surprising either – Barna is an evangelical. The point was that these parents modeled a Christian lifestyle for their children and gave them multiple chances for response. But I began to think about many of the Christians I know today…and whole lot of them were not brought up in a Christian home at all. And the more serious ones had a horrible upbringing. Maybe that’s because they actually understand the gravity of salvation since they were so far from God to begin with. Or maybe they understood the ravaging effect of sin in a more personal way. There is some truth to the idea that great sinners make great Christians. So Barna’s approach leaves out a whole lot of people.

The final book was Tony Dungy’s Quiet Strength. In the second chapter or so, Dungy talks about the exceptional example his parents provided for him. They were strong, church-attending Christians and both had higher level educational training. Both were teachers. By our society’s standards, that’s the one-two punch. It’s easy to talk about how great his parents must have been and that surely this was the reason for Dungy’s successful coaching career. But the last paragraph of the chapter throws a wrench in that scenario. Dungy stated that it wasn’t until years later as an adult that he made a commitment to Christ. Huh? Wait a minute. If anybody should have been a great Christian from the start it should have been Dungy. He had Christianity and education. But it didn’t impact him as much as we assume (or hope) it would.

So what am I trying to say? As parents we have to believe that our parenting makes a difference. Otherwise, it’s an overwhelming task. By secular standards, socio-economic status determines our success in life. But for Christians, it has to be more than that. Yet in both of the Christian books I described, the spiritual formation of any child goes beyond what even the best parents can do. In fact, some Christian parents who do everything right, end up driving their children away from God. As much as parents would like to believe that model parenting matters (and it can certainly help things), ultimately each person on this planet has to recognize the pursuit of God in their life and be willing to respond. I’ve come to understand that there is no way I can really introduce my children to God. Now, I can surely model the importance of personal relationship before them. I can also place them in environments where the Holy Spirit can draw them to him. But in the end, that’s between my children and God. And there’s nothing I can do about that.

But there’s hope. I also believe that God will go to the same extremes that he has done with me and my wife in order to develop a relationship with my children. God doesn’t pursue a relationship with my children because I want him to. He pursues them because he wants to. And his desire for their salvation far outweighs any hopes I may have for my children. So I don’t model Christianity because it’s important for them to see it. I model it because my Christianity is important to me. And as God pursues them, one day their Christianity will be important to them as well. Not as a cultural condition, but as a genuine love response to the overwhelming goodness of their Creator.

The Books

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season.

At the end of the year, I suppose it’s good decorum to reflect on that year’s experiences. Yet, sometimes I find myself looking back further – looking at how this year has added to my overall life experience – just one chapter of many. I often look back at some conversations or books that altered my understanding about a topic. But what if I surveyed the most important books I’ve read to this point? Which books have shaped my worldview – which ones do I come back to? 

I take particular pride in the fact that I have never read The Purpose Driven Life, Blue Like Jazz, or any Max Lucado book. Indeed, you may say: “Sam, that’s exactly what’s wrong with you.” You may be right. But I have been reading something. The books below have been life-changing for me. Very few of them are well-known. Sorry the list is so long…

Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression. As I wrote in the post before, I love the preaching style of “the Doctor.” Many of his sermons were edited for books. People love the Acts or Romans or Semon on the Mount sermons. This series is my favorite. It deals with spiritual burnout. And I was there. This book (along with the two books below it) saved my spiritual life.

Wayne Jacobsen, He Loves Me. I was a perfectionist. A legalist. And very angry. I didn’t understand what the love of God was all about. I didn’t understand the meaning of unconditional love. This book changed that. It’s a great introduction into the grace-oriented freedom that Jesus brought to us.

Malcolm Smith, Power of the Blood Covenant. Using the theme of the blood covenant and the faithfulness of God as its guideline, this is the best summation of the Christian life I have ever read. Hands down.

Jeff VanVonderen, Families Where Grace Is in Place. Within two years of our wedding day, our marriage was on the rocks. This book saved it. VanVonderen talks about how to create a family (as spouses and parents) where biblical notions of grace are at the center. No more controlling, fear-tactics, and shame. The McVeys and Kimmels are more popular but Jeff was the original. We’re still married, by the way.

Clark Pinnock and Robert Brow, Unbounded Love. I’ve read a good many systematic theologies. This one is different. The late (and great) Pinnock was a renown theologian and the late (and great) Brow was an Episcopal priest. The book is an honest attempt to create a systematic theology around the simple premise that God is love. It’s a breath of fresh air. From the conclusion: “God is so radiant that he deserves a beautiful theology, theology done with joy and thankfulness, theology that can dance and sing.”

Morton Kelsey, Encounter with God. A Jungian psychologist and Episcopal priest, Kelsey has written extensively on the intersection between the Bible, psychology, and spiritual experience. For me, Encounter with God is the pinnacle of those writings (though not his most well-known). He easily weaves theological, philosophical, and psychological sources together to create an understanding of how people “encounter” God and what they seek experientially from that encounter.  

Terence Fretheim, The Suffering of God. Several of the books on this list changed my understanding of the Old Testament. But this one changed my understanding of God using the Old Testament. Previously holding God at an emotional distance from his creation, this book helped me understand that God “feels”. The story of God is one of suffering in relation to humanity. Whether you agree with process or panentheistic thought, this book helped me relate to God in an entirely new way.

Abraham Heschel, The Prophets. Raised as an evangelical, the Hebrew prophetic books meant little to me other than a way to “prove” Jesus’ messianic claims. This book changed that for me – I finally understood the importance of the prophets and their lyrical narratives that reflected the heart(break) of God. No surprise that it took a world-renowned rabbi to bring me to those conclusions.

Richard Kyle, The Religious Fringe. This book is solely responsible for directing my academic interests. In it, Kyle (professor of history and religion at Tabor College) doesn’t just recount major religious movements in the Western tradition. He traces all the interconnections and tributaries that make the history of religion interesting. As someone who was deeply intersted in the charismatic lineage of the church and its ancillary movments, this book showed that tracing religious thematic trends through Western history was possible. A remarkable book.

Ronald Hutton, Triumph of the Moon. Second to Kyle’s book, Hutton’s introduced me to the Western pagan and esoteric tradition. I read this book on a church leadership retreat. I don’t remember anything that we talked about on the retreat…but I remember the importance of having a scholar peel back the historical layers of the neopagan movement and expose the “humanness” of religious seekers outside the Christian tradition. I finally stopped seeing heretics or heathens and began to see people reaching out for religious experience. Not sure that’s what I was supposed to be learning….

Anne Punton, The World Jesus Knew. This book is about the contexts of culture and archaeology that surround the stories of Jesus. It’s a wonderful introduction to all the other elements that inform the Gospel narrative that rarely makes it to general Christian readership. Thankfully, books like Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus are changing this, but this book was one of the predecessors.

Watchman Nee, Release of the Spirit. I was a worship leader at several churches for about ten years all together. I read some good articles and books on the technical aspects of leading worship. But this is the book I recommend to beginning worship leaders. It’s about ”breaking” the flesh so that God can release the spirit of each of us for ministry. True worship comes from this state of release. Worship leading is a spiritual event much more than it is a musical excercise. This book explains that event.

Bible Business School

When I was in college, I saw a bumper sticker on a car in front of me that has stuck with me over the last 15 years. It said: 

A Thorough Knowledge of the BIBLE

is Worth More Than a college education

It was actually a college student who was driving the car. I wasn’t sure what to make of that bumper sticker. It was brash and seemingly over-confident in its assessment right down to its capitalization. Sure, the Bible is life-changing but could it really hold the key to everything that I would encounter as an adult? I dismissed it as the bumper sticker of a narrow-minded Bible thumper. But recently, I’m beginning to think differently.

I read a good amount of business and leadership material. Not sure why – it’s what I’m into at the moment. But what I’ve noticed is that most often, the “jewels” of HBR, leadership journals, or the Godins and Peters of the world can be found in the book of Proverbs. And it usually only takes two sentences instead of twenty pages. Proverbs is full of something that scholars call “aphorisms” – They are simply generalized pieces of wisdom and wit that stand the test of time. Sure, Solomon probably had something to do with writing them, but more likely he was involved in the process of collecting them. They already existed and were in use not just in Jewish circles, but in other religious/ethnic circles as well. Why? Because you can live your life by them. Here are some Proverbs and their business counterparts.

Dan Pallotta from Havard Business Review says this about workplace gossip:

In business, for some reason, we don’t appreciate that the stakes are just as high, despite the fact that we spend much of our waking lives at work. Think of the amount of energy that goes into people undermining other people — all working for the same company — through gossip, for example…But gossip kills possibility…We end up working harder to undermine our fellow workers than we work to make the business work out in the market place. Competitors couldn’t possibly thwart the possibility of our success to the degree we thwart it ourselves.

The book of Proverbs deals with this same issue in 1/3 the space:

Proverbs 14:15: “The gullible believe anything they’re told; the prudent sift and weigh every word” (Message).

Proverbs 16:28 “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends” (NLT).

Business and Marketing leader, Daniel Pink  has been promoting a new type of business training he calls the Four-Word MBA:

Lots of people spend lots of money on business school — and it’s often a worthy investment. You can learn new skills, broaden your network, and postpone reality for two years. But I’ve always thought about offering a far cheaper business credential — enduring advice for managers of any kind that I call The Four-Word MBA.

Here it is:

Talk less. Listen more.

Give it a try. It’ll make you a better leader.

I love Daniel Pink’s writings, but this idea is already in a book I own:

Proverbs 12:15: “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others” (NLT).

Proverbs 19:20: “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise” (NIV).

My kids aren’t ready for the Harvard Business Review yet. But they are old enough to absorb the wisdom found in a proverb. Why? Because it’s never too early to learn about people. And no matter what business we enter, we still have to build relationships with those around us. The book of Proverbs can give them a head start. I don’t know that my kids will slap that same bumper sticker on the back of their car once they arrive at college. But maybe that wisdom can translate into a foundation for living that will enhance the knowledge they gain once they are there. It’s just a guess. Check back in twenty years and we’ll see.



Experimenting with “Abide”, Part 3

For an introduction to this series, go here.

On to Malcolm Gladwell. How does a columnist from The New Yorker influence the programming decisions of a church in South Georgia? Well, Gladwell has written several books. But one of the most poignant ideas he’s introduced to the general public is the idea of a “tipping point.” It’s a simple idea, really. In his book by the same name, Gladwell talks about the factors that go into making a small movement or phenomenon turn into something much bigger. Many of these involve people and their buying habits or communication styles. I’ll leave the subtle nuances of that idea for him to explain in his book. But the main point is that the confluence of several little things can turn into something much greater.

So how does that affect a discipleship program in a Methodist church? Well, anything with lasting impact in church starts with people. Abide is built on the total “buy-in” of a group of people who will then affect a larger group of people. Now, here’s the difference between “church world” and business or politics. Tipping points in church life have to do with the spiritual vitality of its membership. If a subset of people have their hearts transformed, they will in turn seek out others with which to share this transformation. 

In our case, we (staff, Abide committee, key volunteers) hand-picked 35 leaders from within the church. But they were not chosen based on their  social influence, financial status, etc. That’s called posturing or “stacking the deck”…and that’s something I personally despise. This is different. The people in this list represent every demographic in the church: they attend either a Sunday school or a small group (or both), have been life-long members or fairly new ones, are equally represented male and female, and are equally divided between traditional and contemporary service attendees. So, with them there will be little chance for politics simply because there’s no majority “factor” around which to rally. So how were they chosen? Simply by asking, “Who exhibits the type of passion for Jesus that we hope to see in every church member at TFUMC?” We took a smattering of those folks – some were natural leaders but others were not. Then we applied a second “filter”: who do we think has the potential to be in that category that we can show we believe in them by choosing them? We had just a few turn us down. And though we explained very little to them about the program, their passion of Christ and their desire to see transformation in the church compelled them to say yes.

We contacted these folks months in advance of any training we asked them to do. And we asked them to commit fully to being at all the trainings. But by contacting them months out from the training, it gave them the opportunity to prioritize calendar dates. And here’s the most important thing we did with these folks. Rather than sit them down and have them participate in absorbing our propaganda about Maxie’s workbook, we gave them a copy of the workbook and asked them to bring their own ideas to the table about facilitation. You see, people aren’t stupid. There’s no need to practice “groupthink for Jesus” (though I’ve seen some interesting examples recently). It’s not about telling people what they should believe. That’s something you were taught in high school history class: a coup d’etat. Rather, it’s about empowering them by creating a context where the Holy Spirit can transform them. Then, because they have experienced that transformation (and its solely their own experience), they of their own initiative will pass it along to others. The tipping point.

John and Stasi Eldredge’s “Love & War”

I read a bunch of marriage and parenting books. It’s part of my job I suppose. Plus, as a husband and father, I pretty much need all the help I can get. When I had the opportunity to review John & Stasi Eldredge’s book Love & War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Dreamed of (Doubleday Religion, 2009), I jumped at it. I’ve read some of John’s books before and know many friends who have really benefitted from the ministry of Ransomed Heart. I was curious as to what they would have to say about marriage. In short, this is a great book.

John and Stasi start off in the first chapter making the case that a good marriage is something that must be fought for. They wrap marriage in a theological context: marriage mirrors the war that God undertook to bring us into relationship with him. He works within the construct of marriage to reflect this “passion play” to the world. Marriages rise and fall based on their willingness to embrace this idea. “God gives us marriage to illustrate his heart toward us” (p. 32). Ultimately, John and Stasi steer the reader to a deeper need than “fixing” a marriage. We all desperately need Jesus to transform us from the inside out. That’s when marriage gets better.

One of the most refreshing things about this book is its brutal honesty. John and Stasi pull no punches when discussing the failures in their own marriage to the point it makes you wince a little. They are incredibly open about their “near divorce” years and the mistakes that led to them. They balance this with great advice. For example, they relay the critical point that most marriage counselors attempt to tell couples: your spouse cannot make you happy. That’s God’s job. Of course, they relay it humorously:

Of course you are disappointed with your marriage…two broken cups cannot possibly fill one another. Happiness flows through us like water through a volleyball net. We feel responsible for our spouse’s unhappiness…The good news is, of course, you aren’t enough…This should come as a tremendous relief, actually. How your spouse is doing is not the verdict on you (pp. 67-68).

In the midst of the “big ideas,” there is plenty of practical advice as well. But the practical advice never gets very formulaic…simply because the Eldredge’s are keenly aware that marriage is not a formula – as our relationship with God goes, so goes the marriage. Chapters on listening for God in the midst of decision-making, spiritual warfare, sexual intimacy, and managing the smaller details of life follow. Yet, John and Stasi always find their way back around to this theme: “…the greatest gift you could ever give to your marriage is for you to develop a real relationship with Jesus Christ.”

This is a great introductory book for couples struggling in their marriage as well as those who just need to be reminded of the basics. I’ll be recommending it in the future. Thanks to the Eldredges for continuing to provided engaging and relevant material for Christians.

Life Update…

 Life has been drastically different over the last seven weeks or so, mostly because this the view I see when I’m at home. Of course, Beth sees this more than me while on maternity leave. Ella Gray is a sweetie. Her sisters love her and think she’s fun. They are however, a little annoyed when she cries since they immediately equate that with “whining.” After a few weeks, Annagale asked a particularly pertinent question for her. In a moment of sound logic, she asked why we encourage her new baby sister to burp and then tell her that when she does it, it’s rude. I don’t think she found my answer to be satisfactory.

Being thrust back into baby world has also made us aware of something interesting about TV watching. The shows that we get the chance to watch can now be divided in to two categories: baby-friendly and baby-unfriendly. The determining factor between these two categories is whether or not we can follow the plot without listening to the dialogue. Ella Gray has her “fussy time” from 7-9 p.m. each evening. So, what shows are shallow enough that we can watch them in the middle of fussy time? NCIS and Grey’s Anatomy. But shows like The Mentalist and The Good Wife require us to actually pay attention to the dialogue…and they are arguably better shows anyway.

After a rough week or so at work, I took off to the Catalyst Conference this past weekend. In the past, it’s been nice to go…but this year I really needed to go. Turns out it was a great weekend and as always I learned so much from speakers who had already been in the seasons of life I now frequent. Some of my favorites: Andy Stanley, Rob Bell, Malcolm Gladwell, Shane Hipps, and Francis Chan. I also made some great contacts and reconnected with some friends. I also got to meet the Anglican bishop of Rwanda, John Rucyahana – what a gracious and kind person.

I’ve been reading a good amount over the past few months, though that came to a screeching halt when Ella Gray was born. I read several books on violence in the Old Testament – two of my favorites were: Gundry’s Counterpoints book Show Them No Mercy  and Susan Nidditch’s War in the Hebrew Bible. The rest has been a hodge-podge of topics: Vincent Brummer’s Model of Love, Richard Rohr’s From Wild Man to Wise Man, Pam Leo’s Connection Parenting, Richard Swenson’s Margin, and Patrick Lencioni’s The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family.

Claire Grace and Annagale have been enjoying a strange selection of music lately. They are really into Sam Cooke’s Greatest Hits and Shania’s Twain’s song “Up.” But the most interesting CD playing at our house right now is an Opera sampler. The girls enjoy it, particularly some of the up-tempo pieces like “La donna è mobile” – Puccini, Verdi, Bizet and the rest – they totally dig it.

Things to hate…

Happy Labor Day to all!

A follow up to this post:

1) Slamming cabinets and doors. I am amazed at people’s  propensity to slam cabinets and doors. What’s the point? Is the door or cabinet more closed when it slams? I guess we’ve gotten used to closing doors and cabinets quietly with sleeping/napping children around. I usually notice it most around single adults or older adults who haven’t had children in the house for a long time who are particularly unaware of the noise a slamming kitchen cabinet makes. But, holy cow, it’s loud…

2) Quoting Dostoevsky’s Brothers Karamazov. I’ve seen this book quoted over and over recently in theology books – you know the passages about the character of God and theodicy. I agree with quotes completely. But man, I’m tired of reading them. Stop it. Just stop it already!!

3) The phrase: “With all due respect…” Americans love this phrase. Originally intended to show respect for superiors or soften a point of disagreement, this phrase has become a free pass to verbally slam anyone about anything. People use it like a magic formula to pardon bad behavior or overly-critical remarks. It’s now akin to “Excuse my French…” Tasteless, insurgent, over-bloated, opinionated rhetoric is not tamed with this phrase. The phrase itself is fine.  But the reason for which it is sloppily highjacked – to say something you might not otherwise get away with – makes people look like scholars of their own opinion.

4) Overly expensive books. Why are academic/theology books so expensive? Let me clue you in: I refuse to buy them. A used copy will surface eventually. Or better yet, use the library. Of course, the drawback to waiting is that you’ll feel less informed than the next guy.  I’ve been dying to read Schleiermacher and Whitehead: Open Systems in Dialogue since it came out. It’s something I’m incredibly interested in. Do I plan to buy that book anytime soon? Heck, no. Sometimes it’s cheaper to be a part if the illiterati.

 5) Tinted car windows. In the South, everybody likes to stop and let others into traffic. It’s a Southern thing. The problem is, with tinted windows, you can’t see someone waving you into their lane. If I can’t see you, I’m not budging.

Things to love…

1) The candor of children. I love the honesty of young children. They say what everybody else is thinking with an innocence that only marks a child. What’s more, they assume that we won’t be embarrassed by the obvious: a bad haircut, a runaway mole, an infrequent Freudian slip. These are the things that make life fun. Kids are adventurous enough to point them out. So kids, say whatever’s on your mind – we’re all listening with rapt attention.

2) Crazy people. I love talking to crazy people. They usually have an extraordinary sense of humor. Highly entertaining, though you may find that they aren’t as “off” as you think they may be. One errant mental turn…one lone synapse misfire (!) and you or I might be lumped in the same category.

3) Footnotes. Footnotes are a blessing and curse at the same time. I no longer read the back of a book when I pick it up. I flip to the bibliography. What footnotes reside there many times will tell me what the author is going to stay. I occasionally get surprised, but not too often. It’s a curse because I usually walk away from any book with at least a few more books to read. It’s a dastardly ploy that sends my inner-nerd reeling from the possibilities of so many books.

4) Gift cards for fathers. This helps with #3.

5) Complex music. Whether it’s baroque period classical music, “hard bop” jazz, neo-prog, or thrash metal, the more notes the better. Let the polyphonic excess begin!  Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a good power chord either…

6) A peaceful home. Someone told me the other day, “You have a very serene home. Very peaceful.”  That was nice to hear. There’s nothing like coming home after a day full of other people’s emergencies to a peaceful home, a beautiful wife, a loving God, and sweet children. A peaceful home may be the thing we work toward most in life. But I think it may be one of life’s greatest payoffs.