Respect, Community, and Intergalactic Planetary Wars

Final thoughts on the topic of community…

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Or so they say. “Value the differences.” That’s what I heard throughout marriage counseling.

Herein lies one of secular culture’s most ridiculous statements – a statement that runs contrary to human nature, biblical advice and plain old good logic. It shapes our cultural and socio-economic landscape and influences our politics. And here’s the statement: unity and respect occur only when people see our distinctives and uniqueness. In other words, exalting diversity promotes unity. Though that idea makes for good speech writing, really, the opposite is true. Unity comes from the realization that in most ways, all people value and live life the same.

Take marriage, for example. The book title I quoted above and many others say that our marriages improve when we learn to love what’s different about our spouse. But when was the last time anyone loved the most irritating things about anyone, much less the person they live with? No, that’s crazy talk. What keeps people close is their common ground, their similar interests, and their willingness to focus on the things that endear them to each other, not the personality traits that polarize. Compatibility occurs with people who like the same things, not with those who talk about how different they are.

Another great example is race relations. Racial dialogue has been based upon the differences between Hispanic, Caucasian, and African-American groups, among others. So, we sit around and talk about how great our differences are and how distinctive each other’s culture is - we emphasize uniqueness and independent value. But honestly, all that does is subconsciously direct us back to why separation and hostility exists. It’s illogical. Rather than focusing on our distinctives, we should be valuing the similarities among us: food, clothing, shelter, love, friendship, life, death, grief, family, and honor. Those are what make us the same. Community is found in our similarities, not our differences. We need to value what we have in common rather than carving out a place of distinction for ourselves. That’s what Paul spoke of in 1 Corinthians 12 – our differences and distinctives (in that passage, spiritual giftings) must be eclipsed by our vision for the whole body. What did Paul see as the common denominator among all peoples? Jesus Christ.

I heard a statistic long ago that really drives this point home. All the genetic anomalies among all the people of the world only add up to 2%. That means you and I are only 2% different than the person we might think is physically the most unlike us. Two percent! Yet, we spend the majority of our time exploiting that 2% for recognition rather than finding commonality and unity within the other 98%.

So, if I’m just stating the obvious here, why do we do it? Why do we harp on those differences (whether intellectual, cultural, or political)? Because our society promotes individuality. We have to be different so we can stand out. I used to be obsessed with being different. Now, not so much. I think average is pretty great, too. Being average will not bring about societal or spiritual death – it’s just being content as part of the 98%. And that makes for good company and a whole lot of friends.

Goats, Turbulence, and Community, Part 2

So, more about community.

Beth and I flew to Lexington, Kentucky, this past weekend for a family wedding. We had a great time. But getting there was certainly less than desirable. Our flight from Atlanta to Lexington was routine until about 45 minutes in. Then, our small plane experienced turbulence. Not the normal type – this felt like someone was using the plane as a jack-hammer. That’s when things got really interesting. Suddenly, the plane dropped roughly 2000 feet in 2.4 seconds. Read that again, please…that’s coming up on half a mile, people (we looked up the flight pattern to verify what happened).  Everyone’s peanuts, pretzels and soft drinks went everywhere. Even while buckled in, practically every passenger hit their head on the overhead compartments. But here’s the worst part. The flight attendant was still in the aisle serving passengers. Without any warning, the poor lady was launched like a rag doll straight up to the top of the plane and came down unconscious for about 5 minutes. Eventually, the flight attendant came to and was helped into her seat. The descent was fine and we landed safely accompanied by a string of emergency vehicles. Bumps and bruises and a few lacerations on some passengers. The pilots never told us the problem…but when they opened the cockpit door once we had landed, they looked like they’d seen a ghost.

Yep.  Scary. 

The most interesting thing about all of this was the interactions within the plane itself – the ones between the people. I’m not sure why watching them was more important than worrying about my life (let the pathological diagnoses roll in…), but some really interesting dynamics occurred. A couple of obvious points. 1) Suddenly people were keenly aware of their inability to protect themselves. 2) Neither were they able to retreat from the situation – we were thousands of feet above ground inside a hollow metal tube. 3) Up until that point, all of us were isolated from each other’s life context with little effort to uncover the stories of those around us.

But then we helplessly dropped 2000 feet in the air. Everyone’s story became the same. The crisis occurred roughly halfway through the flight, so we had the final half to process what happened. At first, no one moved. The flight attendant was surrounded by 12 people strapped into their seats. And no one said anything – they just stared at her. When she came to, one generous soul unbuckled, called the cockpit on the attendant’s phone and helped the woman to her seat. He had set the agenda for the remainder of the flight – he risked further injury in order to help out. Once he had broken the ice, that’s when people started talking and asking questions – across aisles and rows in every direction. The cultural boundaries that restricted our interaction with each other were relaxed (possibly demolished) by the common context of crisis. A unique kinship now made communication effortless. Someone asked, “What’s she doing now?” Well, though there were about 40 women on the plane, everyone knew who “she” was.   Everyone’s background for dialogue was now the same.

Just like the goats in the first post, community was built around feelings generated by common experience. Our experience on that plane was a microcosm of crises that make the national news.  Someone took the initial risk to address the context we all faced. Then others followed suit. For Christian leaders, churches respond the same way. Notice that no one gave any lectures on aerodynamics or pulled out the SkyMall magazine. It wasn’t a mental or doctrinal exercise that brought community. Community is visceral, emotional, and (for some) spiritual.

Goats, Turbulence, and Community, Part 1

I’ve been pondering the importance of community recently. What draws people together? What invites their interaction with each other? A couple of personal examples come to mind – one several months ago and one from this past week. I’ll share one this post and the other next post.

I was driving down the highway a while back and saw about twenty goats jump a fence and bound into the median. Fortunately, none were hit by cars. There’s a dairy right off of the highway and evidently the goats desired more freedom than they were given (which leads me to believe that they would adopt some type of Liberation Theology if asked…).

Now, seeing random animals in the road is not too uncommon – after all, I live in the South. We dodge all manner of defiant vermin every week. However, the response of the other drivers is what intrigued me. There were about seven cars with me that pulled over and began to redirect traffic, corral the goats, and contact the dairy owner. Everyone immediately assessed the situation and weighed in with their own gifts. You may not see any Christian parallels there, but (as a self-proclaimed nerd) I do. I see a genuine example of Christian community fostered by common experience.

Christians interested in ecclesiology spend a whole lot of time attempting to show other Christians why they should get along with each other. As a charismatic, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across a well-meaning theologians warning that the quest to “feel” the Spirit focuses on individuality rather than community. Their answer is to tell everybody that Christians should automatically like each other and find common ground with one another. But as a minister, I have rarely seen this happen. Telling people they should “connect” with each other doesn’t make it a reality.

I believe that people (like those who stopped to help on the highway) are more than willing to unite upon the introduction of an individual experience that commonly unites them. No one had to tell me or any of the others to work together. Our common experience individually informed us that we should react in community. We experienced the “great goat escape” from slightly different angles and worldviews, but the basic experience was the same for all of us. So why doesn’t that happen more often? We see it in times of crisis like New Orleans or Haiti (see the next post). But rarely on a daily basis. Honestly, an opportunity rarely presents itself to us.

And that’s why spiritual gifts are so important. It’s not an issue of elitism or holiness. The gifts are meant to edify but also to provide a common spiritual experience that operates in every season of life. Many have had an experience in a worship service where the believe they have “felt” God in a personal way. And there’s nothing quite like finding someone who has had a similar experience to yours. It builds immediate kinship between you and that person. You know much about them intuitively without discussing specifics at all. Though the unity on the highway was external, internal experience can unite as well. When people discover that another person has had a similar experience, they open up to each other. “You’ve had that happen? I have too!” That’s when unity occurs – not around a specific doctrinal belief but around personal experiences that are shared in common.

Church leaders  interested in fostering community should never deny the validity of spiritual experience for Christians. Instead we should be begging Christians to seek experience. Experiences “connect” Christians to each other. It is a powerful unifying force.

Respect, Community, and Intergalactic Planetary Wars

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Or so they say. “Value the differences.” That’s what I heard throughout marriage counseling.

Herein lies one of secular culture’s most ridiculous statements – a statement that runs contrary to human nature, biblical advice and plain old good logic. It shapes our cultural and socio-economic landscape and influences our politics. And here’s the statement: unity and respect occur only when people see our distinctives and uniqueness. In other words, exalting diversity promotes unity. Though that idea makes for good speech writing, really, the opposite is true. Unity comes from the realization that in most ways, all people value and live life the same.

Take marriage for example. The book title I quoted above and many others say that our marriages improve when we learn to love what’s different about our spouse. But when was the last time anyone loved the most irritating things about anyone, much less the person they live with? No, that’s crazy talk. What keeps people close is their common ground, their similar interests, and their willingness to focus on the things that endear them to each other, not the personality traits that polarize. Compatibility occurs with people who like the same things, not with those who talk about how different they are.

Another great example is race relations. Racial dialogue has been based upon the differences between Hispanic, Caucasian, and African-American groups, among others. So, we sit around and talk about how great our differences are and how distinctive each other’s culture is - we emphasize uniqueness and independent value. But honestly, all that does is subconsciously direct us back to why separation and hostility exists. It’s illogical. Rather than focusing on our distinctives, we should be valuing the similarities among us: food, clothing, shelter, love, friendship, life, death, grief, family, and honor. Those are what make us the same. Community is found in our similarities, not our differences. We need to value what we have in common rather than carving out a place of distinction for ourselves. That’s what Paul spoke of in 1 Corinthians 12 – our differences must be eclipsed by our vision for the whole. What did Paul see as the common denominator among all peoples? Jesus Christ.

I heard a statistic long ago that really drives this point home. All the genetic anomalies among all the people of the world only add up to 2%. That means you and I are only 2% different than the person we might think is physically the most unlike us. Two percent! Yet, we spend the majority of our time exploiting that 2% for recognition rather than finding commonality among the other 98%.

So, if I’m just stating the obvious here, why do we do it? Why do we harp on those differences (whether intellectual, cultural, or political)? Because our society promotes individuality. We have to be different so we can stand out. I used to be obsessed with being different. Now, not so much. I think average is pretty great, too. Average is not societal or spiritual death – it’s being content as part of the 98%. And that makes for good company and a whole lot of friends.

A Goat’s Lesson in Community

I was driving down the highway earlier today and saw about twenty goats jump a fence and bound into the median. Fortunately, none of them were hit by cars. There’s a dairy right off of the highway and evidently the goats desired more freedom than they were given (which leads me to believe that they would adopt some type of liberation theology if asked…).

Now, seeing random animals in the road is not too uncommon – I live in the South. However, the response of the other drivers is what intrigued me. There were about seven cars with me that pulled over and began to redirect traffic, corral the goats, and contact the dairy owner. Everyone immediately assessed the situation and weighed in with their own gifts. You may not see any Christian parallels there, but (as a self-proclaimed nerd) I do. I see a genuine example of Christian community.

Christians interested in ecclesiology spend a whole lot of time attempting to show other Christians why they should get along. As a charismatic, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across a well-meaning theologians warning charismatics that their quest for the gifts of the Spirit focuses on individuality rather than community. Their answer is to tell everybody (over and over again) that Christians should like each other and find common ground with one another. But as a pastor, I have rarely seen this happen. Telling people they should “connect” with each other doesn’t make it a reality.

I believe that people (like those on the highway) are more than willing to unite upon the introduction of an individual experience that commonly unites them. No one had to tell me or any of the others to work together. Our common experience individually informed us that we should react in community. We experienced the “great goat escape” from slightly different angles and worldviews, but the basic experience was the same for all of us. So why doesn’t that happen more often? We see it in times of tragedy like New Orleans. But rarely on a daily basis. Honestly, an opportunity rarely presents itself to us.

And that’s why Spiritual gifts are so important. It’s not a issue of elitism or holiness. The gifts are meant to edify but also to provide common spiritual experience that operates in every season of life. There’s nothing quite like finding someone who has had a similar experience to you and the immediate kinship you feel with that person. You know much about them intuitively without discussing specifics at all. Though the unity on the highway was external, internal experience can unite as well. When people discover that another person has had the experience of a word of knowledge or speaks in a private prayer language, they open up to each other. “You’ve had that happen? I have too!” That’s when unity occurs – not around a specific doctrinal belief but around personal experiences that are shared in common.

Those interested in church community should never deny the validity of spiritual experience for Christians. They should be begging Christians to seek experience. Experiences “connect” Christians to each other. It is a powerful unifying force.