In an Unprecedented Business Move, GPS Makers Copy the Holy Spirit…

When we go on trips, we often take Beth’s TomTom along with us to help navigate the way. This is a good thing: I have the worst sense of direction on the planet. I forget where I’m going mid-route at least once a week. I know…you’re thinking, “Sam, they have medication for that.”

Beth has her GPS set to this female British voice named “Jane.” I have to admit that I find it kinda sexy. “Just tell me where to go Jane. I’ll do anything you say…” Luckily, Beth is not threatened by my romance with Jane. But when Jane talks, I listen. There are often times when I can see a route change up ahead, but she doesn’t tell me where to go until I am a little closer. It makes me rather nervous and sometimes I talk back to her: “Come on, Jane! Tell me where to go!” Other than the fact that you now think I need counselling for my Jane “problem,” I started thinking about how this was similar to the Christian walk. I’m sure other people have made the same deductions as well.

“Jane” is a lot like the Holy Spirit to me. Some of the reasons are obvious. I make the choice to listen to Jane. She doesn’t force me to follow her and I have to listen closely to hear her. And she usually gives me several chances to follow her instructions (”at 800 yards, turn left…at 400 yards, turn left…”). But there is one similarity that interests me more than the others. When I veer from her predetermined path, Jane adjusts her route to incorporate the decision I had just made. She can do this because she is programmed to assume that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of alternate routes arriving at my specific destination. Of course, she tells me I just missed my turn – she even tells me to turn around a couple of times. But then she picks up a new route to complement my change of plans. Though she has a preferred route, my personal decision to go straight instead of turning right doesn’t affect her overall goals and objectives for the trip. This happens several times each trip – at a closed intersection, a construction area, and sometimes I simply can’t get over in the right lane fast enough. The trip may be longer or more costly (either through traffic or toll roads) but Jane always gets me there either way.

I think the Holy Spirit deals with us in the same way. For the sake of analogy, if God desires your arrival in Los Angeles, you can get there through Atlanta, Chicago, St. Louis, or Houston – it doesn’t matter. Heck, if you want to be a real model of inefficiency, you can fly to Tokyo and then Los Angeles. The key is that you make it to Los Angeles. Our lives are full of decisions that affect us in small ways. Generally, the Bible is concerned about how we respond in those insignificant situations, not really the decisions themselves. How you behave once you arrive in Los Angeles is more important than the route you took to get there. Or, as another example, it’s not as important where you work as it is not to steal office supplies once you’re there. But even in the big decisions of life, there are many “routes” that eventually lead us to our destination.

I can only speak for myself, but I obsess over life’s decisions as if they will make or break my relationship with God. We act as if missing one of life’s turns will cause “Jane” to yell at us for not obeying, turn her power off, and never speak to us again. Or better yet, she’ll deliver us into the “hands of Satan” so that we may learn not to blaspheme. Such obsessing keeps us from doing the basics of the Christian walk, as if we’ll be moved from “sheep” to “goat” status with little notice.

But by approaching the Holy Spirit this way, it teaches us to relax a little. And it’s at our most relaxed that we do our best listening. In the end, we have to trust that God’s ego is not bruised by a foolish blunder, a missed opportunity, or a weak moment of temptation. The key is simply to get up, dust yourself off, and get back on the road. Okay…so you missed Jane’s voice at that last turn. The question then becomes: will you be listening when she calls again?

Making “Spirit-led” Decisions, Part 2

Beth and I make decisions in a very particular way. We follow biblical precepts where we can – don’t murder, cheat, steal, etc. – all those obvious ones. And if we feel God “impressing” upon us individually to do something, we wait for the feeling to linger beyond that of a normal, everyday “hunch.” But what if we don’t have a clear biblical mandate or a strong impression? Well, we follow four guideposts that, when aligned, usually place us comfortably within the parameters of what we feel God would do if he were in our situation. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Love God with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength (Mark 12:30). When we make the choice to love God completely, it always manifests in a way that dovetails with his character and loving nature. That means we always opt for grace since grace is the ultimate expression of God’s love for us in Jesus. What about judgment? If you feel that acting out the judgment of God is in your best interest, that’s between you and God. However, for us, the risk of misrepresenting God and possibly damaging the spiritual walk of others is serious business. Knowing our limitations, we don’t trust ourselves to properly act out God’s judgment on his behalf. That’s his role. But we can always be ambassadors of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18).

2. Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). Beth and I often try to think, “If someone else was making this decision and it would impact us, how would we like for them to handle it?” The least we can do is consider the fact that others are often impacted by the decisions that we make. Does that means you should relegate all decisions to popular vote? No. But we can live our lives with an understanding of community and responsibility.

3. Prefer others above yourself/look out for the interest of others (Phil. 2:3-4).This guideline takes us even further than number 2 in the direction of serving others. There have been times in our life when we have made a difficult decision based on our ability to better absorb the hardship of life while shielding others. Obviously, parents do that for children at a young age, but what about Christian brothers and sisters in Christ? Sacrificing for others (even when they are not fully aware of those sacrifices) imitates the heart of God. Beth and I can’t do this every time. But when we feel God asking us to do so, we volunteer to take the “hit” of finances, reputation, etc. so that someone else doesn’t have to. That requires us to let go of our need for self-preservation and recognition. Preferring others better than ourselves means we must see the beneficiaries of our decision in the light of God’s unconditional love. That’s hard to do…but God can give grace when those situations arise.

4. Always lean towards the answer that has “eternal significance” (Galatians 6:8-10). People ask me all the time about whether they should go on mission trips or join in on some local mission project. My response is: does that event have eternal significance? In other words, does it reflect the heart of God and his desire to bring people into his kingdom? If so, then why not? I can’t think of a better use of time than to play a part in realizing the Great Commission. On a different level, if there is a decision at our house that promotes the values and character traits we see in God and desire for ourselves and our children, we will always opt for that choice. It has eternal significance and therefore is worthy of our involvement.

That’s how Beth and I make decisions. Pretty complex, huh? Actually, it’s not that difficult. It has to do with a mindset more than going down a checklist of criteria. “Spirit led” decisions are the ones where the Holy Spirit informs our thoughts and directs our steps. It’s the promise of God for those who trust him. He longs for the chance to walk us through the decisions of life. In those moments of reflection with him, we learn what it means to have the mind of Christ.

Making “Spirit-led” Decisions, Part 1

I thought I’d post some practical stuff Beth and I have learned about making “Spirit-led” decisions. I have to be honest and say that the majority of decisions in life fall outside of a particular biblical mandate or verse. That includes some of the biggest ones – marriage, occupation, etc. I’ve talked about the difficulty of discerning the “will” of God from a theological standpoint here and here. So, I thought I’d give some practical guidelines for making decisions in the “real” world.  Let me cover some basic aspects of decision making in this post before giving you our specific guidelines in part 2.

1. Work towards God’s decision, not your own. The “team concept” of decision making always works best in marriage (Eph. 5:21). In that model, two devoted spouses refuse to square off against each other with their own opinions. Once a spouse has taken ownership of a particular viewpoint, it’s hard to divest oneself of it without feeling that they have “lost.” Rather, they actively seek God’s answer together. Seeking God’s answer to a decision takes the personal element out of decision-making. Both spouses agree that choosing God’s answer is more important than being “right.” Once that decision is reached each spouse must choose to completely “buy in” to the answer and abandon any lingering doubts.

2. Spiritual impressions. Another issue in making “Spirit-led” decisions is the idea of needing a “spiritual impression” to confirm your decision. What’s a spiritual impression? You may have heard similar phrases like: the voice of God, an inner witness, a “check” in the spirit, having “peace” about a situation, etc. All of those phrases merely describe the belief that God can convey his intentions for our lives through prayer and discernment. What does that practically “feel” like? Well, everyone is different, but I think most people would describe it as a strong feeling that does not wane as time passes. How do you know it’s God? Well, you don’t…but it’s recurrence usually indicates that there’s something to it. In fact, the first thing I counsel people to do when they feel God is “leading” them to do something is to dismiss it. If it’s God, the impression will come back even stronger.

3. The myth of circumstances. Another common issue with making “Spirit led” decisions has to do with circumstances. Most people believe that life’s circumstances will ultimately steer you towards God’s will. That’s when they quote things about God “closing doors” and “opening windows.” But that really isn’t biblically accurate. There are plenty of times in the Bible where God asked people to do things that put them in direct opposition to others and sometimes even danger. For many people in other nations today, Christianity has been the sole cause of their social marginalization, economic hardship, ridicule, and even death. Life is often difficult simply because…well…it is. Difficulty in life and “closed doors” don’t always mean God is saying “no.” In fact, we would be worse off today if Christians throughout history had taken the path of least resistance, wouldn’t we? So, circumstances don’t always point us in the right direction – in fact, I would say they very rarely do. Circumstances in decision-making aren’t near as important as we are often led to believe.

I’ll tell you our personal guidelines for making “Spirit-led” decisions in part 2…

Aggressively Pursuing a Life of Peace

We have some life mottos around our house that guide our life decisions. Often times, these mottos aren’t always obvious to everyone. They hold a higher value on spiritual things than material things. They place more importance in relational harmony than personal gain. It also keeps us from bowing to the peer pressure that young couples face, like trying to “keep up with the Joneses.”

The first and probably most important motto comes from the verse “Seek peace and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14, 1 Peter 3:11). Romans 12:18 relays a similar idea: “Do all that you can to live at peace with all men.” We call it aggressive peace. Beth and I make decisions around the idea that in every situation, there is a peaceful and overall beneficial decision that keeps balance among our family members. If at all possible, we choose that “peaceful” solution. That’s how we make vacation plans, buy new appliances, choose schools, choose television shows or movies, etc. You get the idea. If there is a choice that leads to unrest, strife, anger, impatience, and irritation, we usually opt for something else.

Now that may sound obvious to you. But there’s a subtle difference. We don’t wait for peaceful decisions to come to us. We make peace happen for our children and for each other. We’re aggressive about pursuing peace. We fight for it. We plan for it. We do whatever it takes to maintain it. A lot of people have financial goals or material goals – and we do as well. But all of that comes from our overall peace goal. What lies behind “peace” for us? Questions like, “Which choice promotes the most security for our children?” “Which choice creates ease of life and rest for our retirment?” “How can we peacefully discipline our children?” And most importantly, “Which choice honors God and draws us to him, not away from him?”

But not only do we not wait for these options for peace to come our way. We take it a step further: we “agressively pursue” them. Beth and I discuss questions like, “What makes for a peaceful marriage?” or “What brings peace to our children?” or “What does financial peace look like?” Then we take agressive measures to implement those details into our lives. For example, with finances, we list a second round of details. Financial peace means ultimately means no financial stress: little debt, no collections calls, solid retirement plans, college saving for children now rather than later, choosing economical and sensible cars and houses, and not living paycheck to paycheck if possible. Then we aggressively make those our goals.

I guess pursuing peace as a lifestyle can only be done by someone who believes they have the ability to make their life what they want. I believe all of us can do that. But it takes a lot of thought and premeditation. And often times our decisions are not the most conventional choice. We’re not experts at this and sometimes lose our focus. And plans can certainly change. But the key is to at least have some plan in place and be willing to adjust it accordingly when life throws a curve ball. Personally, living a life of peace is a way to honor God with what he’s given us – a way to proactively reflect his image in us. Taking the initiative to make good in your life is not anti-Christian at all. It actually reflects the productive nature of God and his willingness to be involved in every aspect of our life. In the end, life truly is what you make of it. Our goal is to make a life of peace for each other and for our children.

Life Planning 101

Beth and I have gone through a lot of change during the last eight years of marriage. Job changes (6), house changes (3), children (2), cars (4), educational degrees (2), beta fish for our four year old (3). Things rarely stay the same. And that’s just some of the bigger changes – not counting all the little things. Everyone has heard that old saying “the only thing constant in life is change.” And while that’s true, as I sit around and ponder the mysteries of life, that statement needs some qualification.

What I have begun to see is that life actually changes in stages or “chunks” of time. Particular areas of life don’t change constantly. But each one does change between every two and five years. Think about it. The government says you have to live in a house for two years before your aren’t taxed on your net selling gain. High school takes four years. So does undergrad. A new CD by your favorite artist takes one to two years to release. Children’s life stages occur in two to three year periods. If you’re an agressive business person, job opportunities for advancement come along about every two to four years.

Everything happens in stages. So though change is constant, change only occurs in any one area about every two to five years. The constant adjustment to these stages is what makes us feel like things never stay the same. Beth and I are attempting to navigate a new series of stages in our life. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way. With each change you have approximately two to five years to get the most out of that stage of life. For example, with children, what you teach a toddler is different from what you teach a seventh grader. Yet, the chance to use that period of time well rests on your ability to adapt quickly to that new stage. Or jobs, for example. Learn the most at your job knowing that within two to five years you will be confronted with the opportunity to learn another job. So, learn everything you can at your present one. If you have a good paying job now, stuff as much money away as you can knowing that in two to five years, things might change.

In the end, good life planning begins with being able to step outside of yourself and your personal desires and make quality decisions that best fit within your present stage of life. From what I can tell, there are only a few really important eseentials to emphasize in each stage. Find out what those are and harp on them mercilessly until change brings a new set of values and goals your way. Each stage has its particular lessons of life. Don’t miss them looking forward to change ahead. Embrace your “stages” of living now, knowing that your present attention will pay off down the road.

For me it’s kind of like a sporting event where the coach tells you to “leave everything out on the field.” Each game only last 60 minutes – but you have to play the whole time. And when the next game begins, even though the rules are different, you still play all 60 minutes. Stages in life are like that. Two to five years moves quickly if you don’t actively participate in it. Play each of the stages in your life like they are only 60 minutes long. And in each area – marriage, family, job, church, etc., make sure you “leave everything out on the field.” And that means planning your life in periods of two to five years.

In an Unprecedented Business Move, GPS Makers Copy the Holy Spirit…

When Beth and I went on our anniversary trip last month, we took her TomTom along with us to help navigate Orlando. Beth has her GPS set to this female British voice named “Jane” and I have to admit that I found it kinda sexy. “Tell me where to go Jane, I’ll go anywhere you tell me to go…” Luckily, Beth was not threatened by my romance with Jane. But when Jane talked, I listened. There were even a couple times where I could see a route change up ahead, but she didn’t tell me where to go until I was a little closer. It made me rather nervous. A couple of times I said, “Come on, Jane! Tell me where to go!” Other than the fact that you now think I need counselling for me Jane “problem,” I started thinking about how this was similar to the Christian walk. I’m sure other people have made the same deductions as me as well.

“Jane” is a lot like the Holy Spirit to me. Some of the reasons are obvious. I made the choice to listen to Jane. She doesn’t force me to follow her and I have to listen closely to hear her. And she usually gives me several chances to follow her instructions (“at 800 yards, turn left…at 400 yards, turn left…”). But there one similarity that interests me more than the others. When I would veer from her predetermined path, she adjusted her route to incorporate the decision I had just made. She can do this because she is programmed to assume that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of alternate route to arrive at your specific destination. Of course, she tells you that you missed the turn – she’ll even tell you to turn around a couple of times. But then she picks up a new route to complement your change of plans. Though she has a preferred route, your personal decision to go straight instead of right doesn’t affect her overall goals and objectives for the trip. This happend several times – at a closed intersection, a construction area, and one time I simply couldn’t get over in the right lane fast enough. The trip may be longer or costly (either through traffic or toll roads) but you’ll get there either way.

I think the Holy Spirit deals with us in the same way. For the sake of analogy, if God desires your arrival in Los Angeles, you can get there through Atlanta, Chicago, St. Louis, or Houston – it doesn’t matter. Heck, if you want to be a real model of inefficiency, you can fly to Tokyo and then Los Angeles. The key is that you get to Los Angeles. Our lives are full of decisions that affect us in small ways. Generally, the Bible is concerned about how we respond in those insignificant situations, not really the decisions themselves. To God, it’s not as impotant where you work as it is not to steal office supplies once your there. But even in the big decisions of life, there are many “routes” to God’s desire for your life.

I can only speak for myself, but I obsess over life decisions as if they will make or break my relationship with God. We act as if if we miss our life’s turn, “Jane” will yell at us for not obeying, turn her power off, and never speak to us again. Or better yet she’ll deliver us into the “hands of Satan” so that we may learn not to blaspheme. Such obsessing keeps us from doing the basics of the Christian walk, as if we’ll be moved from “sheep” to “goat” status with little notice.

But by approaching the Holy Spirit this way, it teaches us to relax a little. And it’s at our most relaxed that we do most of our listening. In the end, we have to trust that God’s ego is not bruised by a foolish blunder, a missed opportunity, or a weak moment of temptation. The key is simply to get up, dust yourself off, and get back on the road. Okay…so you missed Jane’s voice at that last turn. The question then becomes: will you be listening when she calls again?

How Can I Know the Will of God?, Part I

I just finished reading Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. As they say, “eat the chicken and spit out the bones”…

My wife and I have made some tough decisions in the past few years – some that have affected much about the way we live and also challenged our understanding of the “will of God.” It’s been a learning experience, so I thought that I would share a few insights we’ve gleaned. Of course, our understanding is based on our personal experiences and may be different than yours…and that’s fine. As always, feel free to disagree, but at least take a hard look at why you may disagree.

Preachers traditionally talk about three different types of divine will: the sovereign, the moral, and the individual will of God. The sovereign will is usually seen as God’s hidden agenda that quietly guides history and world events. This idea is brought up when large scale events like natural disaster or spiritual revival occur. But Christians also talk about the hidden will of God in daily events as well…after all, “God works in mysterious ways.” So, many Christians also see God’s sovereign will as meticulous and detailed within the things they cannot explain. The moral will involves moral guidelines in the Bible and the Christian’s mandate to follow them. Verses like “Love your neighbor” and “do unto others…” apply here. Finally, then there’s the one everybody is obsessed with – God’s perfect will for each individual. This determines what events happen to us in life and our particular “calling” to fulfill. Who should I marry? Should I go to the mission field? What college should I attend? And on and on they go.

The problem with all of this is found in the definition of “will.” I believe rather than some mechanistic, overly-structured, predetermined set of events, the biblical definition of will involves God’s desire for all of humanity, not just a few. That’s where the idea of “election” comes from. As we all know from politics, if you elect someone to do something specifically, they still have free will to change their mind and do something different. You hope that they won’t…but the potential always exists. God desires (wills) the best for our planet, however, our stubbornness and rebellion often side-track his good intentions. But his desire to have us near to him never changes.

So here is what I have come to understand as God’s will. As I stated here I am more Wesleyan in my theology and leave as much room as possible for free will to affect life in hopes of defending the goodness of God’s character. So, I see God as having a sovereign will but it includes broad, general goals like bringing creation to consummation and revealing himself through the work of Jesus Christ. God has cast a “net” around his creation, but it is a very wide net. Most importantly, God’s sovereign will is seen in the character of Jesus and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.  

For example, many Christians I have talked to explain the Holocaust as some form of God’s preordained, sovereign will. Yet, the tragedies of that time are somehow counteracted by a secret divine will that allowed “good” to come out of heartache. If that’s so, then answer this question: since when is the death of one life worth the salvation of another, much less millions of people? I just don’t buy that line of reasoning. Don’t you think God’s “will” would be for good to occur without tragedy? If that’s the case, then though there is a general sovereign will, there are a  lot of decisions humans make that fall outside of God’s intentions and wishes for them. These decisions are the ones that create disharmony, war, and tragedy in our world. The Bible is full of such examples: God’s disapproval of Israel electing a king, God’s remorse over Adam and Eve’s choice, Abraham’s bargaining with God over Sodom and Gomorrah.

So what about individual will? Well, that’s what drives most people crazy in life. Verses like Jeremiah 29:11 are thrown around in this category. And yeah, God has a “plan” for you…and here it is: to come to know him deeply and intimately, to accept Christ as the foundation of your faith, live a life that conforms to his Word, and live daily in his presence empowered by the Holy Spirit. Those are his “thoughts of peace and hope” toward you, the same as everyone else! What about all the other “life decisions” like which car to buy and who to date? Well, they’re not in the Bible for a reason. You have been given a life to live in honor of the King. Go live it in the way you think is most pleasing to him. God is happy to let you make decisions. He then works within the structure of your personal decisions to bring about good in your life. We may not be intelligent enough to do this ourselves, but God is easily resourceful and intelligent enough to work within the complexities of this world.

I’ll talk some more about individual and moral will tomorrow…